


It became a habit

by Dayun



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bullying, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, past bullying, there's actually going to be a lot of smut in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-05-13 02:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19242412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dayun/pseuds/Dayun
Summary: “So we go to the same college, huh? It’s been a long time, Wonpil.”Wonpil slowly lifts his head in dread, finally looks up and takes in the familiar sight – the wide shoulders, the sharp chin, straight nose and slanted eyes.He hadn’t met anyone from high school the last week so he had let his guard down. But now, out of all the people it’s Younghyun he runs into.





	1. I smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, hello, I'm back and ignoring my responsibilities once again orz (I am actually studying, just probably not as much as I should)  
> This chapter is pretty bad if I can say so myself, I just didn't know how to narrate the plot and set the ground??? I still hope you will like it.  
> This story is based on a manga I read back when I visited my sister in Japan, it's called '糸永くんの恋の糸', it hasn't come out in English yet though.

 

_Cold water hits his face harshly, but Wonpil can only look at the person in front of him holding the now empty bottle up in pure shock. His chest hurts, it hurts so much._

_Don’t touch me. What’s wrong with your eyes and ears? You look like a monkey._

Wonpil shakes his head, gets rid of the bad memories before he beams up at the building in front of him, a spring in his steps.

College is going to be great, supposedly one of the highlights of Wonpil’s young life. A new start where he can make new friends and new experiences, just like he had tried to do this last year. It’s going to be different, it won’t be like the first years of high school. No one was going to call him a stupid monkey or trip him or make him take over their class duties, not this time.

With a bright grin Wonpil jogs towards the entrance of the building for his faculty, a few faces he has seen in the last few lectures already among the people entering. He spots Jinyoung, a friendly guy with big ears he had sat next to yesterday that he would like to befriend. So Wonpil takes a deep breath for a surge of courage before lifting his arm to wave at him, opens his mouth to call out.

And promptly runs into someone.

A strong chest collides with his small one and he falls back. He lands on his butt painfully, his leather satchel skidding across the ground as the other person’s papers scatter everywhere around them.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Wonpil quickly apologizes, picking up the documents he can reach while his ears turn red in pure embarrassment. No matter the circumstances, it seems like he will never lose his clumsy nature.

“Sorry, are you okay?” the other person asks in return, but Wonpil doesn’t look up as he tries to organize the now wrinkled papers.

“N-no, it’s my fault, I’m really sorry,” he stutters out in haste as bad memories of his past play in the back of his mind. Back then they would have made his life hell for this.

“It’s not your fault, Wonpil, stop apologizing.”

At those words Wonpil freezes, his name said in that deep voice striking a chord in him that he had tried to bury so hard.

“So we go to the same college, huh? It’s been a long time, Wonpil.”

Wonpil slowly lifts his head in dread, finally looks up and takes it all in – the wide shoulders, the sharp chin, straight nose and slanted eyes.

_Don’t touch me._

Younghyun

Wonpil flinches back, his blood running cold as he looks at the elder with wide eyes. Younghyun stares at him with equally wide eyes at the sudden reaction, but Wonpil doesn’t pay it any mind as he snatches his bag and scrambles back up to run away as quickly as possible.

He doesn’t spare a glance back as he flees into the building, gripping the strap of his bag tightly to ground himself.

Younghyun, it’s Younghyun. He hadn’t met anyone from high school the last week so he had let his guard down. But now, out of all the people it’s Younghyun he runs into.

He can feel the phantom touch of cold water hitting his face harshly and dripping down his skin, every pair of eyes in the class room trained on him as Younghyun looked at him with an expression of pure disgust.

_Don’t touch me._

Wonpil squeezes his eyes shut at the painful memories and tries to shake them out of his head. Why, why now when he had tried so hard to forget these feelings?

 

“You just came back from Canada, Younghyun?”

“Wow, you’re so cool, Younghyun!”

Girls and guys alike gather around Younghyun as they sit in the lecture hall and talk loudly before their professor arrives. It just had to be Wonpil’s luck that Younghyun seems to share some lectures with him. They chatter loudly around him and Wonpil shrinks into his seat, wonders why Younghyun had to sit in the row right behind him.

He tries to not pay them any mind as a few guys laugh loudly at something that Younghyun must have said. Wonpil is not surprised about how fast Younghyun has managed to make friends, he’s the same as ever it seems. Aside from his appearance Younghyun hasn’t changed much from high school. He’s always been smart, good looking and cool, popular with the girls and admired by the guys, and he had been kind to everyone, even to him. Or at least he had been in the beginning.

Back then in the first year of high school a few people had mocked him for his protruding ears and crossed eyes, but it had only been a few and he had managed because he still had friends who would defend him. And after all, teenagers could be cruel, but he had endured.

Perspiration drips down his cold water bottle and Wonpil eyes it bitterly as he lays his head on his folded arms, the sight making him remember things he does not want to think about. No one had outright bullied him at first, but once Younghyun had said those particular words, the entire class had started doing it.

His stomach clenches painfully as he is reminded of why he changed schools in the middle of his second year of high school back then.

The group around Younghyun continues to talk loudly and Wonpil buries his head in his arms. He wonders if Younghyun is going to bully him again.

 

* * *

 

“Good morning, Wonpil,” a familiar deep voice greets him and Wonpil’s shoulders stiffen before he glances hesitantly to the side.

Younghyun sits down a few seats away from him with a warm and expectant smile but Wonpil only ducks his head in return, breaking eye contact quickly as he murmurs a small greeting. He wonders why Younghyun always has to sit so close to him. The last few days the elder had greeted him every lecture they have together and sometimes even tried to initiate small talk. Luckily for Wonpil though they were always interrupted by other people coming to talk to Younghyun.

A sigh of relief leaves him when a few girls arrive and divert Younghyun’s attention towards them once again and away from Wonpil as they start speaking to him animatedly.

Wonpil dares a glance at the group but startles when his eyes meet Younghyun’s and he quickly turns his head back down as sweat gathers at his temples. He doesn’t want to see him, not now.

He ends up skipping the next lecture because of that. Call him weak, but he currently really doesn’t have the mental strength to face Younghyun again.

A few light notes flow through the air as he leisurely presses some keys on the old piano. The former choir-club room as empty as his sister had promised him it would be. He’s happy that he got this secret tip from his older sister who had studied at this college before too, since he now has a room where he can eat his lunch in peace and try to sort his thoughts.

The clicking of the door interrupts his playing though and he looks up in surprise as it opens.

“Wonpil?”

He springs up with shock when Younghyun enters the room, unprepared for the sudden encounter. How did he find out where to find Wonpil?

A waterbottle peeks out of Younghyun’s bag and Wonpil eyes it warily. This is it, he’s cornered in a room alone with the elder, he is surely going to be bullied again.

“I-I’m sorry-“ he scrambles to say to get himself out of this situation, once again apologizing for his feelings like back then-

“Wonpil, the homework,” Younghyun interrupts him though as he holds a stack of paper out towards him, leading Wonpil to blink up at him in surprise. “Eh?”

Younghyun steps closer and gives him the documents which Wonpil hesitantly takes, still surprised by the turn of events. “We were assigned homework today, so I took yours with me.” Younghyun explains to him with a small smile, “Do you want to see my notes, too? They might help.”

Wonpil blinks at the unexpected offer. “Th-thank you…”

He glances down at the neatly organized papers and wonders why Younghyun went out of his way just for him. His heart warms a bit as he is thrown back to the very beginning of their first year in high school.

Silence settles between them as Younghyun doesn’t seem to plan to leave any time soon and Wonpil startles when he realizes that he hadn’t answered the elder’s question yet.

“Oh, that would really help,” he quickly says and tries not to stammer, “After all, I don’t know many people here yet, so thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” Younghyun waves him off with a kind smile and sets his bag down to take out his notes for the class. He takes a look around the small but quiet room with interest as he does so.

“This is the old choir-club, isn’t it?” Younghyun asks curiously and Wonpil nods timidly.

“The room isn’t used anymore, so I eat my lunch here.” He answers the elder and Younghyun turns to him with a bright grin.

“Then I guess I’ll join you here,” Younghyun tells him much to Wonpil’s shock and he almost chokes at the words.

“Eh-Why?” He asks and hopes that his expression isn’t too horrified, but Younghyun only continues to smile at him. “Let’s spend more time together, Wonpil.”

Dread crawls down his spine as Wonpil just looks at the other with wide eyes. He really doesn’t understand what Younghyun is thinking.

 

* * *

 

“What kind of melodies do you like to play?”

The words are said directly into his ear and Wonpil startles at the close proximity, pressing the wrong key and tries not to cringe at the unfitting tone. Younghyun just chuckles lightly at that and Wonpil scoots a bit further away from him on the piano bench to create distance. But the elder only seems to take that as an invitation to sit down next to him, their sides touching. Wonpil tries not to blush.

“I-I just play covers of some songs I like, it’s nothing interesting.” He tells him in a small voice.

“That’s cool,” Younghyun says in return and Wonpil looks up at him to see Younghyun smile kindly, “I really want to know more about you, Wonpil.”

At that Wonpil can’t help it when his ears turn red.

He hesitates for a second before he takes out his phone and opens his music app. He shows Younghyun his playlist who leans closer in interest.

“Oh, I think I know most of these. There are a lot of JYP artists listed here.” He gingerly scrolls down to look through the songs. “I sometimes hear their songs on the radio, they’re really good.”

“I know, right? They’re so great!” Wonpil exclaims happily, but then slaps a hand over his mouth when he realizes how overeager he just was and panics a bit. Younghyun doesn’t seem to mind though as his nose scrunches in amusement.

“I see, so you like this kind of music.”

Heat rises to his face and Wonpil can feel the blush spread on his cheeks at the close proximity between them as Younghyun smiles at him.

Younghyun is acting like nothing ever happened between them, and Wonpil doesn’t know what to make of this.

 

* * *

 

The days go by peacefully and Wonpil even manages to make a few friends (Jinyoung from the first week included). To his surprise the lunch breaks spent with Younghyun are also calm, he would even call them pleasant, it’s nice.

The price tag reads ‘NEW’ in big yellow letters and Wonpil eagerly picks up the latest Day6 album, purchasing it with a barely suppressed smile. When he exits the shop, he finally lets his grin break free as he runs towards the campus in excitement. He thinks of the conversation he had with Younghyun a while back and bites his lips. He’ll show this to Younghyun.

He is panting lightly as he arrives at the class room Younghyun just had a lecture at. Slightly out of breath from running, he pauses by the door to wipe a bit of sweat away from his forehead before he enters.

He pauses though when he spots Younghyun talking with a few people and scrambles to hide back behind the door, not wanting to interrupt their talk. He recognizes them as the people from the first week that had always gathered around Younghyun.

“Hey Younghyun, why do you always eat lunch with that Wonpil guy?”

Wonpil flinches when he hears his name being mentioned and peeks through the gap to see a girl pouting up at Younghyun.

“He seems like a boring person to hang out with.” Another girl pipes in.

“And that face makes me laugh, I mean what is with those eyes.”

The words hurt and Wonpil bites his lips, gripping the bag in his hand tightly as he can hear the mocking laughter back from high school replaying in his mind.

“He’s nice.”

Younghyun’s voice suddenly breaks the chattering of the group, leading them and Wonpil to look at him in surprise. With a small smile Younghyun hoists his bag over one shoulder.

“That’s why I like to spend time with Wonpil. So please don’t talk badly about my friend like this.”

Wonpil’s eyes widen when he hears those words, his heart beating loudly in his ears. Another girl makes fun of the others, telling them that’s what they deserve for being jealous, but Wonpil doesn’t pay it any mind as he fists his shirt by his chest.

Younghyun bids his goodbye to the group and Wonpil panics, quickly running away before the elder can spot him. His heart is still skipping erratically in his chest as he runs across campus, covering his mouth with one hand and trying to hide the blush high on his cheeks.

The door to the choir room bangs open as Wonpil rushes inside panting heavily. He closes it quickly again to slide down the door and buries his head in his knees, his ear burning red.

Did Younghyun change? He won’t treat him badly anymore?

If that’s true, then maybe – maybe his feelings from back then aren’t that bad anymore.

 

The CD reflects the last rays of sunshine lightly as Wonpil looks at it and Younghyun enters the room.

“Oh, is that a new one?” He asks curiously and Wonpil nods his head eagerly. “Y-yeah.”

“That’s great, Wonpil-ah,” the taller tells him and Wonpil looks up at him, his cheeks dusted a light pink at the endearment. He bites his lips thoughtfully before glancing back up at Younghyun who puts his bag onto the table.

“Do you want to listen to it together?”

In turn Younghyun looks at him with a surprised expression, not having expected Wonpil to want to do something together, but it quickly turns into a smile as he nods. “I’d like that.”

A light melody fills the room once they put the CD into the old stereo system and they listen to the first track together silently, both concentrating on the music.

“It’s good, I really like the bass-line.” Younghyun hums after the first few songs have passed and Wonpil nods eagerly in agreement.

“It is, isn’t it? I really love their vocals!” He chirps happily and continues to talk about how much fun it always is to transition their songs to the piano and how much he is looking forward to do so for this album. The whole time Younghyun listens attentively as he watches Wonpil.

Wonpil stops talking abruptly when he feels Younghyun’s eyes on him and ducks his head as he bites his lips. “I’m sorry, I’m ranting again.”

But Younghyun just leans in and pinches his nose playfully, his eyes curved and smile warm.

“It’s fine, you’re cute when you do so.”

Wonpil looks up at him with crossed eyes wide open at Younghyun’s smile.

“It’s getting late, we should go home, Wonpil,” the elder tells him and Wonpil nods absentmindedly, proceeding to follow Younghyun and quickly grabs his bag and the CD. Maybe-

Maybe Younghyun doesn’t remember what he did back then.

He lifts his head to see Younghyun waiting for him by the door and quickens his steps to catch up. It’s already dark outside as they exit the building, only a few students still loitering around campus. They walk side by side, a comfortable silence between them as cicadas chirp around them in the trees.

Wonpil bites his bottom-lip in thought as he glances up at Younghyun who has a serene expression on his face, the low light of the street-lamps reflecting in his hair and making him glow.

Maybe Younghyun wasn’t aware that he had bullied Wonpil in the first place. Everyone has a person they don’t like in one point of their life. There are also times when you treat someone badly because you’re in a bad mood and adiitionally they were only kids back then. And it was only that one time after all.

At least Younghyun had never told others to hurt him or gathered a group of people to mock him. Back then he had been popular and had a lot of influence, still has it now, so people just followed in his foot steps on their own, but he never told them to.

Wonpil realizes he has fallen a few steps behind and watches Younghyun, his shoulders still look as broad and reliable as they had back then when he first saw him. There are a few people Wonpil can’t forgive for what they had done to him, but if Younghyun doesn’t remember, he would be grateful for that.

As if reading his thoughts Younghyun suddenly stops and turns a bit to look at him over his shoulder with a small smile. “Why are you lagging behind, Wonpil-ah?”

Wonpil looks at him in wonder, his heart skipping a beat as he grips the straps of his bag tightly before he jogs back up to him.

Because if it’s like this, then he might be able to become friends with Younghyun again.

They continue the rest of their walk with light chatter about their assignments from class until they reach the cross-road where their ways part.

The stars are visible and clear in the sky, not a cloud in sight as the cicadas continue to chirp around them. Younghyun smiles down gently at him, taking a step towards the direction he has to go and lifts one hand to wave. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow, Wonpil.”

The elder bids him goodbye, the words sounding like a promise and Wonpil smiles brightly. His cheeks are tinged a light pink and his eyes turn into crescents, glittering in the low light along with the stars.

“See you tomorrow, Younghyun-hyung!”

Younghyun stills as he watches Wonpil wave at him cutely before he turns around to also walk towards the direction he has to go.

To Wonpil’s surprise he only manages to take a few steps though before he is stopped, a warm and large hand gripping his upper-arm and turning him around. He comes face to face with Younghyun who must have run after him as he looks at him with determination written in his sharp eyes.

He’s about to ask the taller if he forgot something but Younghyun beats him to it before he can do so.

“I like you.”

Eh?

“I like you, Wonpil.”

Another hand comes up to grip his other arm and turns him fully towards Younghyun and Wonpil can only look up in shock.

“Please, go out with me,” Younghyun asks him without breaking his strong gaze once and only then do the words catch up to Wonpil.

His heart springs into his throat, unable to truly comprehend what is happening yet as he fumbles with his words. “W-wait, Younghyun –You…I-!”

“Do you have someone else you like?” Younghyun continues to ask him, to which Wonpil can only shake his head, still overwhelmed. “Then isn’t it fine?”

“I-It’s not!” Wonpil scrambles to answer quickly, his heart beating quickly, feeling like it’s going to break out of his chest and take flight.

What does Younghyun suddenly mean with all these confessions? Is Wonpil dreaming this right now?

“Do you think I’m disgusting since I like men? Is it because of this?” Younghyun suddenly asks him and Wonpil snaps his head up at those words.

“Of course not!” He retaliates quickly and Younghyun’s stern expression turns soft as he once again smiles down at him.

“I knew you would say that, Wonpil-ah.”

His cheeks flush and Wonpil doesn’t think his blush can get any worse until Younghyun suddenly grasps his hand in his. He lifts their joined hands and gazes into Wonpil’s crossed eyes determinedly.

“I like you, Wonpil-ah, I want you to go out with me.”

He pulls Wonpil into his arms and hugs him tightly, burying his head in the crook of his neck. This time it truly feels like his heart leaped out of his chest as it pounds loudly in Wonpil’s ears. A blush spreads along his whole face and Wonpil bites his lips. He’s never been embraced by someone like this before. So he doesn’t know if a hold always feels this tight and secure.

His heart feels like it’s going to give out at this point and Wonpil can’t take it any longer before he combusts as a blushing mess. He pushes weakly at Younghyun’s shoulders, his whole face burning red.

“I-I’ll go out with you!”

At that Younghyun finally lifts his head to look at him in wonder. Instead of letting him go though, he only squeezes him tighter and nuzzles his hair. “I’m so glad…”

The thumping of his small heart echoes loudly in Wonpil’s ears and he’s sure it’s going to combust soon. “Younghyun, I have to go home-“

The elder still doesn’t lift his head though. “I don’t want to let go of you yet.” But then he suddenly detaches himself, still keeping his grip on Wonpil though as he looks down at him with an eager face.

“Close your eyes, please.” He tells Wonpil, who has half a mind to question him why but then he sees the glimmer in Younghyun’s eyes and relents.

He closes his eyes, trembling lightly in nervousness and still feels like a blushing mess. Just when he thinks that his heart has calmed down a bit, it springs back against his rib cage as another pair of lips suddenly covers his. Younghyun winds a warm arm around his small waist as he kisses him. It’s light and innocent, only a light brush of lips but it still manages to make Wonpil’s knees almost give out with its intensity.

Wonpil keeps his eyes squeezed shut, even when Younghyun’s lips have left his. It’s only when Younghyun’s deep chuckle reaches him that he blinks his eyes back open.

“It’s over, Wonpil-ah.”

Younghyun’s grin is warm, the street lights drawing a halo around him and Wonpil’s sight suddenly starts to blur. A tear rolls down his cheek and Younghyun’s eyes widen at that.

“I’m sorry, it must have been too sudden for you,” Younghyun apologizes, looking reluctant but Wonpil quickly wipes at his eyes, shaking his head lightly.

“No, th-that’s not it, I was just surprised.” He reassures the taller.

Younghyun still looks rather reluctant but Wonpil just smiles up at him, his face and ears flushed red as his heart beats to the rhythm of a song. He touches his lips, still feels the phantom touch of Younghyun on them.

He thought they could be friends again, he didn’t wish for anything more - didn’t dare hope for more, so this feels like a dream to him.

After all, since the very beginning of high school, he’s always been in love with Younghyun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so many fanfic ideas in my head (almost all of them with Wonpil, no surprise there though), but I decided to write this one first since it seemed the easiest to write (but boi was I wrong).  
> The other ideas include a sungpil sugar daddy crack fic and a memory loss youngfeel fic, and a jaepil high school au one shot, so please do tell me if there's interest in one of those.  
> This fic here will have around five chapters, I think, and they will be a ride my guys.  
> Thank you for reading, please tell me if you like this until now!!!


	2. I'm serious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter, yaaaay!!! The feedback to the first chapter has been so great, I was just so pumped up and motivated. Originally I wanted to post this later, but your words were all so sweet, I didn't want to leave you waiting any longer. Seriously, woah, MyDays are the best, thank you!!  
> Light trigger warning for mentions of bullying  
> (to avoid confusion: the first part is set in their high school days)

 

The sun was already sinking in the horizon, tinting the sky a light pink on its way. A bit of dust puffed through the air as Wonpil cleaned the board and coughed lightly at the dust that flew into his mouth. In the back the bell of the high school could be heard, signalling the end of another day. The classroom was empty with only him inside, at least until the door was shoved open and another student entered.

“Wonpil, are you on class duty by yourself again?” Wonpil looked to his side in surprise and saw Younghyun taking a look through the room. “Isn’t Jaebum supposed to help you with it? I can go and get him.”

Wonpil smiled lightly at the other’s helpfulness but shook his head in return. “It’s fine, he has baseball practice today,” he informed the other to show him that it didn’t bother him. “And I don’t have anything important to do, so I should do it.”

Younghyun still didn’t look fully convinced though, clearly bothered that the work was left on the smaller once again, so Wonpil hastily added on, “And I actually prefer it this way! It’s really calming like this.”

Silently Younghyun looked at him for a moment before he let out a sigh and smiled gently at Wonpil. Then he took the eraser from his hand and started to clean the rest of the board that Wonpil couldn’t reach for him.

“H-hyung, you don’t have to do it for me!” The younger protested feebly but Younghyun only continued before he turned to smile at him.

“You’re right, it really is calming.”

Wonpil’s small heart skipped a beat and it all started back then.

Younghyun was someone who was kind to everyone. After that they started to talk more and Younghyun would always help him with class duty, even when it wasn’t his turn.

One of those days Wonpil had peeked over the class rooster they were working on and looked at Younghyun’s handsome side profile as he concentrated on filling out the names. The orange light of the sky tinged him in warm hues and Wonpil had felt his cheeks heaten up, the school uniform suddenly become too hot.

Usually Younghyun would be with the more popular people, so Wonpil was always amazed that he was still so nice to people like him.

“Wonpil, your eyes,” the elder suddenly interrupted his train of thought and Wonpil stiffened, “They’re always slightly crossed, aren’t they?”

He nervously glanced up at Younghyun, but Younghyun only continued his work with a serene expression on his handsome face.

“It’s really cute, I like it.”

At those words Wonpil quickly ducked his head back down, holding the class rooster up to hide the flush that had spread on his whole face behind it. His heart was thumping loudly in his chest.

The way he felt towards another guy, it must be strange. He thought it must be weird, that he must be weird for feeling like this. It’s what society seemed to say about this.

So he tried to hide them, his feelings. Wonpil acted like he wasn’t looking so Younghyun wouldn’t notice as he secretly watched him, because he didn’t want Younghyun to think strangely of him. He wanted Younghyun to be nice to him like always.

But in the end it was no good.

He must have been too obvious, must have taken too much for granted and revealed his feelings. Because slowly Younghyun had started to ignore him, and when he had tried to get Younghyun’s attention one day, the other had thrown the water from his bottle harshly into his face.

_“Don’t touch me. What’s wrong with your eyes and ears? You look like a monkey.”_

Younghyun had looked at him with so much disgust in his face, it must have been because he found out. He thinks Younghyun bullied him because he fell in love with the elder despite being a guy.

Even though Wonpil had tried to keep him from noticing, he couldn’t hide it. That’s why Younghyun must have felt disgusted. But Younghyun didn’t have any other choice, did he?

Wonpil could never despise him for it.

 

* * *

 

“Wonpil-ah”

Wonpil looks up from his piano sheets just as Younghyun gently cups his cheek, stroking the skin under his eye with his thumb lightly before he bends down.

The feeling of Younghyun’s lips on his has become familiar to him by now, yet it still always manages to leave him a blushing mess once they part. These past weeks he’s gotten somewhat used to kissing Younghyun, and he likes it a lot. His high school self would be singing in joy.

After their lips part Younghyun continues to stroke his flushed cheek softly before he winks playfully at him and retracts his hand. A giddy smile makes its way onto Wonpil’s face as he looks down at the piano keys shyly. His heart skips to the beat of a melody only he can hear in the choir-room they have taken for themselves.

“A new music shop opened down town, want to check it out together later?” Younghyun asks him and Wonpil looks up at him once again, processing the question in his mind before he nods his head eagerly. Leaning his head onto his hand, Younghyun gazes at him with a relaxed smile. “It’s a date then.”

When he hears those words, Wonpil bites his lips, excited at the prospect of going on a date with Younghyun.

 

* * *

 

“Wow, it’s so nice!” Wonpil beams as he makes a turn to take in the whole shop, new counters and instruments shining under the bright light of the store. “To think that a music shop finally opened in this part of town.”

The grand piano in the corner calls to him and he walks over with a spring in his steps, not able to contain his bright smile before he turns to Younghyun. The taller watches him silently and takes his phone out, his lips curled in a small smile.

Before Wonpil can really process what is happening a snap sounds off as Younghyun takes a photo of him.

“W-wah, Younghyun, you can’t just take pictures of me!” He protests lightly.

“I’m sorry, it’s because you’re so cute that I can’t help myself, Wonpil-ah,” the other retaliates and Wonpil has to fight down a blush at that.

“But hyung, my eyes look like this…” He mumbles in a small voice, insecure when he sees the photo Younghyun has taken of him, his eyes crossed as he smiles directly into the camera.

But Younghyun just smiles as he looks at the picture before turning to Wonpil. “I like them, they’re a part of you and I like everything about you.” He says so confidently with a soft voice, making Wonpil’s stomach flutter in the strangest way.

Then Younghyun suddenly winds an arm around his waist and pulls Wonpil close, flush against his side, and Wonpil’s small heart skips a beat. He barely manages to smile up at the camera, almost too distracted, as Younghyun takes a selfie of them.

A satisfied grin works itself onto Younghyun’s face once he sees the finished photo and Wonpil swallows nervously.

“Are you sure you’re fine with being in a picture with me?” He asks the other timidly, but Younghyun just pinches his nose in return.

“Of course I am. I want to remember this moment, after all you smiled just for me.” Younghyun’s eyes are warm as he turns his grin towards Wonpil, and Wonpil can only look at him in stunned silence.

As he thought, he really likes Younghyun.

He thinks back to the first time they met, the first time they talked, and that evening in the class room when Younghyun had helped him for the very first time. No matter how many times they meet, he’s sure he would probably fall in love with Younghyun every single one of them.

But this time it’s different from before, because this time Younghyun likes him back.

Wonpil bites his lips to contain his smile, ears flushing red in happiness. Younghyun stares at him before he takes a look over his shoulder to make sure that they’re alone in this section of the shop. Then he cups the younger’s cheek gently, making Wonpil jump lightly in surprise. He blinks up at Younghyun before he realizes what he wants and blushes, tilting his head up for better access.

Like always Younghyun kisses him softly, makes the butterflies in Wonpil’s stomach stir. He sighs into the kiss but is surprised when Younghyun’s tongues suddenly enters his mouth at that. Wonpil jumps back in shock, covering his mouth in embarrassment as a flush spreads on his face.

“Younghyun, your tongue-!” He stutters out as Younghyun pulls him back to keep him close in his arms.

“Am I not allowed to?” The taller asks him looking like a kicked puppy and Wonpil worries his bottom-lip. Honestly, that expression is just not fair.

So he gives in with a small nod and tilts his head up once again. Younghyun immediately takes the chance and delves back in, licking along Wonpil’s bottom-lip before going past and licking into his mouth. Their tongues make a slick sound as Younghyun rubs them together, trying to get a taste of all of Wonpil. The sound and feeling make Wonpil’s knees buckle, the sensation of it all almost too much for his inexperienced mind.

When they finally part, there’s a thin string of saliva still connecting their lips and Younghyun has to hold him up so Wonpil won’t fall to the ground, his legs having finally given out.

“Y-Younghyun-hyung, you’re too lewd, doing this in public,” Wonpil mutters, covering his mouth in embarrassment and disbelief at what they have just done in the middle of a music store, their only cover being the instruments around them.

But Younghyun only smiles down at him as he keeps him close against his chest. “Well, I’m not a kid anymore after all.”

Wonpil blinks up at the elder with wide eyes as he is reminded that indeed a few years have passed and they aren’t teenagers anymore. A small realization hits him and he swallows at the implication of it, because then that would mean-

Heat rises to his cheeks and trickles into his abdomen as Younghyun guides them out of the shop. It’s already dark outside, only the streetlamps and stars lighting the mostly empty streets.

“My apartment is nearby, do you want to come over?” Younghyun asks him and Wonpil swallows, becoming distinctly aware of the elder’s hand laying low on the small of his back, and he nods timidly.

The touch feels almost scorching as Younghyun grins down at him.

They stop by a convenience store to buy ingredients for dinner and Wonpil also decides to get them ice-cream to fight the last heat of summer. He joins Younghyun by the cash register and the elder ruffles his hair when he sees the cold treats he brought. Wonpil almost forgot his thoughts from before, but then he watches Younghyun pay for a pack of condoms and stills.

He ducks his head down to fight the flush working its way onto his face and bites his lips, only looks up when Younghyun calls out to him. “Wonpil, are you coming?”

The taller holds out a hand to him, his figure seemingly glowing in the low light of the night. Wonpil’s pulse echoes loudly in his ears as blood rushes into them. He takes the outstretched hand.

 

Dinner is a calm affair as Wonpil watches Younghyun cook in awe as he throws vegetables and fish together skillfully. He let out a small hum in delight as he took the first bite and Younghyun chuckled at him. After, they ate the ice-cream Wonpil bought while talking about Younghyun's exchange year in Canada and music and everything they could think of as they sat on the elder’s bed.

It’s only once Wonpil has finished his ice-cream and sat the empty container down that he realizes how close their sides are pressed together. Silence settles slowly between them, the only thing breaking it being his own rapid heartbeat. He hesitantly glances up at the other and catches his gaze, a glint shining through his eyes before Younghyun leans closer, enclosing Wonpil with one arm on each side of him on the bed and covering his hand with his.

The kiss starts gentle as always, Younghyun rubs his nose against Wonpil’s first before pressing their lips together. He tilts his head for better access and swipes his tongue across Wonpil’s bottom-lip, making the younger gasp. Not missing a chance, Younghyun delves his tongue into Wonpil’s mouth to taste the younger.

Wonpil’s hands shake where they’ve come up to fist in Younghyun’s shirt tightly as Younghyun devours his mouth. The elder presses impossibly closer and Wonpil falls back onto the bed weakly, the blush on his face spreading down to his neck and vanishing beneath the collar of his shirt.

“H-hyung, this is my first time…” He whines as he nervously looks up at the elder, “I don’t know much, so please be gentle…”

There’s a light flush to Younghyun’s cheeks as he crawls to hover above him, his hands propped up on either side of Wonpil’s head and knees resting between Wonpil’s parted legs.

“It’s okay, leave it to me,” he reassures Wonpil in a soft whisper, “I’ll do my best.”

Then Younghyun leans down to kiss him once again, this time sliding his tongue directly between Wonpil’s parted lips. His hands wander down Wonpil’s upper body until they come to rest on his hips where his shirt ends as he glides their tongues together.

Younghyun pulls back for a moment to quickly take off his shirt and Wonpil gulps at the sight. The elder’s hair is slightly ruffled after he pulled his shirt off and his broad chest is shining with a light sheen of sweat from the heat. Before Wonpil can fully take in the whole sight though Younghyun ducks back down to lick a stripe up the smaller’s neck, then proceeding to nib at his ear softly. His hands trace back down to squeeze Wonpil’s waist lightly before they slide beneath his shirt to touch skin.

Wonpil squeezes his eyes shut and covers his mouth with his hand to stifle his gasps as the sensations hit him. He worries if it will be alright, if he’s acting weird as he tilts his head to the side. Even though Younghyun likes him right now, he’s still a male.

Hands grasp his shirt to pull it over his head and Wonpil lets Younghyun undress him as he bites his lips in worry as more and more of his skin is exposed.

What if Younghyun sees his body and changes his mind?

Without even realizing it he’s brought his hands up and pushed Younghyun back. He looks up at the elder with eyes wide in shock who looks equally surprised as him and they stare at each other for a moment.

Scared, Wonpil is scared.

He quickly ducks his head in shame at what he has done, but he couldn’t help it. He’s scared, he doesn’t want Younghyun to be disgusted of him.

“S-sorry, I’m just embarrassed…” Wonpil quickly apologizes for his actions, stuttering out some excuse.

Younghyun’s lips press into a thin line as he regards the smaller in silence, his face unreadable, and Wonpil averts his gaze nervously. After a while Younghyun grasps his shoulders softly and turns him around so Wonpil’s back is facing him.

Wonpil moves to look over his shoulder questioningly but before he can look at the elder, Younghyun covers his eyes and guides his head back to the front.

“Younghyun-hyung?” Wonpil asks in a small voice. Younghyun wraps his arms around his waist then, his chest pressing lightly against Wonpil’s back as he kisses the back of Wonpil’s nape softly.

“Like this you won’t have to face me and won’t feel embarrassed,” Younghyun whispers into his ear and Wonpil nods hesitantly.

“Is it okay like this?” Wonpil asks but Younghyun only presses a kiss to his shoulder in return before he lays a hand between Wonpil’s shoulder blades and pushes lightly. He guides Wonpil’s hips up as Wonpil leans forward, holding himself up on his hands and knees as Younghyun bends over him.

“It’s fine,” Younghyun says soothingly, one hand slowly trailing up Wonpil’s stomach to his chest while the other works on unbuttoning his jeans. “As long as you face forward, you’ll feel good.”

His limbs shake lightly and he nods his head as he feels the heat of Younghyun’s chest against his small back grounding him. Like this he cannot see Younghyun’s reaction to his body, so he is not scared anymore, can concentrate more on the sensations running through him.

As if hearing his thoughts, Younghyun pinches one of his nipples, making Wonpil mewls at the touch. The elder presses impossibly closer and Wonpil can feel him hard and stiff beneath his jeans rubbing against his backside. He bites his lips, he’s glad that he managed to draw out this reaction from Younghyun.

Just then Younghyun’s thumbs hook into his jeans, slowly pulling them down Wonpil’s behind along with his briefs. Cold air hits the sensitive tip of his cock, already pink and glistening with precum and Wonpil gasps. He lifts his legs so Younghyun can pull his pants fully off him.

Shortly after he hears the sound of a zipper and Younghyun’s own jeans being discarded. The elder bends down to quickly take out something from their shopping bag before he’s already leaning over Wonpil once again. Suddenly a hand moves between his legs and Wonpil gasps when it wrapps around his sensitive member.

He bites his lips to keep the whimpers falling from his lips at bay as waves and waves of pleasure courses through him with every stroke and flick Younghyun’s hand does. The other hand roams up his chest to flick one of his nipples teasingly before pinching it. Hot, it feels hot, every part of him that Younghyun touches burning up. It feels like the sensations Younghyun gives him are the only things he knows, like only those places truly exist.

The sound of a bottle being clicked open reaches his ears and Wonpil stiffens, trembling lightly in nervousness. Kisses are pressed against the back of his nape and Younghyun swipes his thumb over the head of Wonpil’s cock, momentarily distracting him as Wonpil mewls. Then he traces a lubed finger around the younger’s rim. “Relax, Wonpil-ah.”

He inserts the first finger slowly and Wonpil hiccups, “Hyung!”

Wonpil’s hands immediately clench the sheets as his head falls forward between his shaking fists. He whimpers as Younghyun pumps his finger in and out. “You’re doing good, Wonpil, so very good.” Younghyun sooths him before adding a second finger, pumping and then scissoring them.

“Y-Younghyun, it feels weird, my body feels weird,” Wonpil whimpers at the unfamiliar pleasure coursing through him. But Younghyun then proceeds to also keep stroking his cock again, drawing out a loud gasp from the smaller.

“I’m glad that you’re feeling it,” Younghyun says while the lube makes lewd squelching sounds as he keeps moving his fingers in and out of Wonpil.

After he added a third finger, Younghyun scissors them one last time before fully pulling them out. Wonpil hears the sound of a wrapper being torn open in the back of his mind, but Younghyun is the only thing he can currently think of, his head full with the feeling of the elder against him.

His small hips are lifted from where his knees have started to give out and he feels the blunt pressure of something hot poking his entrance. “I’m putting it in, Wonpil-ah,” Younghyun says in a ragged breath.

“Younghyun,” Wonpil calls out to the other, reaching back with one hand and Younghyun stills behind him. Then he immediately takes the younger’s hand and leans forward, pressing his chest against Wonpil’s back as he joins their hands on the pillow.

He squeezes their hands together tightly as he slowly starts to push in all the way to the hilt and Wonpil squeezes back. It hurts, it hurts so much that tears start to gather in his eyes, but the pain is overridden by the joy of becoming one with Younghyun.

Even though Younghyun had done that one horrible deed back then, Wonpil could never hate him. He thinks back to when he had stood in the middle of the classroom, water dripping down his face and mixing with his tears, and he had only been sad, so very sad. He had never thought that it would come true, being hated only after falling in love with Younghyun, it was just so heartbreaking.

Younghyun bottoms out inside of him and squeezes his hips with his free hand, the other still holding onto Wonpil’s. “Are you okay, Wonpil-ah?”

“I-I’m fine,” Wonpil answers hoarsely as a small smile graces his lips unseen by the elder. He feels full, so very full filled to the brim with Younghyun, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Younghyun then starts to pull out slowly before pushing back in with a roll of his hips and Wonpil whimpers at the mix of pain and pleasure.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Wonpil-ah,” Younghyun whispers in a broken voice as he pulls his hips close, “I’ll try to make you feel good.”

He then untangles their hands to wrap it around Wonpil’s leaking member, and Wonpil has only a short second to miss the contact before he is overtaken by the flood of sensations as Younghyun starts stroking and thrusting at the same time.

The pain slowly starts to fully ebb away and the pleasure is almost too much for him to handle as Younghyun’s cock hits a certain spot inside of him. His mind goes blank for a short moment at that and Wonpil mewls loudly, falling to his elbows as his arms give out.

Above him Younghyun whispers apologies but Wonpil doesn’t understand why he does so, wants to tell the other how happy he is right now. Even though he shouldn’t have kept loving Younghyun, the elder is touching him like this and Wonpil gets to have this moment. Embracing each other in this way, it’s what Wonpil had dreamed about for a long time.

Younghyun kisses his shoulder gently as he keeps thrusting his hips in a steady rhythm and Wonpil thinks that maybe - maybe he had been scared for no reason.

Above him Younghyun lets out a grunt in pleasure and Wonpil mewls, happy to be able to make Younghyun feel good. The head of the taller’s cock drags along Wonpil’s inner walls, hitting that special spot dead on as Younghyun’s name falls from his lips in a melody of whimpers.

While holding Wonpil’s hips steady with one hand, the other one keeps stroking the smaller’s leaking member in the same rhythm as the thrusts of Younghyun’s hips. Sweat starts to gather between them and Wonpil can feel it dripping down his back where Younghyun has his chest pressed against it, lewd sounds of skin against skin resonating through the room.

“Ah, Younghyun,” Wonpil whines as a tightness starts to build in his stomach and Younghyun’s rhythm becomes more frantic, his thrusts faster and sharper. White spots dance in his vision and with a flick of Younghyun’s hand, Wonpil comes with a small cry, his cum spilling onto the elder’s fingers and the sheets beneath them.

His body goes almost limp if not for Younghyun holding his hips up as he keeps thrusting frantically into him. And with one last sharp thrust forward followed by a low groan he stills, and Wonpil can feel him pulsating inside of him as Younghyun climaxes. He noses Wonpil’s neck and reaches forward, linking their hands together on the pillow. Wonpil leans into the touch, squeezes their hands and wonders what kind of face Younghyun is making right now. If he could have seen him right now, he’s sure he would have been really happy.

They stay like that for a while as they both come down from their high, chests still heaving lightly from exertion. “Are you okay, Wonpil-ah?” Younghyun asks him softly and Wonpil nods his head weakly in return.

“I’ll get you cleaned up,” the elder whispers before getting off the bed to get a wash cloth. He returns not moments later and guides Wonpil to lie on his back so he can wipe him down. Wonpil watches him do so with love drunken and droopy eyes, but Younghyun seems too concentrated on his task to look back at him.

Once he’s finished he puts the washcloth away and gets back onto the bed, lying down beside Wonpil’s sleepy form and manoeuvring him into his arms as he pulls the blanket over them.

Wanting to see Younghyun’s smile again before he falls asleep, Wonpil tilts his head up to look at him but Younghyun’s hand on his nape stops him. The elder guides his head into the crook of his neck instead as he nuzzles Wonpil’s hair and winds his arms around him tightly.

“Let’s stay like this, please, just for a bit,” Younghyun whispers hoarsely. Wonpil wants to answer him, but the warmth of the embrace lulls him into sleep, and he’s too exhausted to fight it. So he falls asleep in Younghyun’s arms with a small smile gracing his lips, dreaming of warm school days long past.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you feel that I wanted to slowly let the angst trickle in at the end? I also changed the chapter titles to songs that fit the chapters.  
> The next chapter is going to contain the angst you have all been waiting for, so get ready for it :D  
> Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that I didn't let you down with the bad smut!!! I always love to hear from you and read your comments!!!


	3. I'll remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't begin to describe how thankful I am to all of you. Seriously, the feedback to this story has been amazing, you guys, seriously, whoah. Your words just keep motivating me to write and update as quickly as possible. You guys rock!!!! I really hope I won't disappoint you with this chapter.
> 
> (I first titled this chapter 'I need somebody' but the lyrics and the melody of 'I'll remember' just fit so perfectly, that even though I wanted to title another chapter that, I had to use it for this one.)

 

“Just a bit more, Wonpil, you’re doing so well,” are the words whispered sweetly from behind as Wonpil shakily lifts his hips, hands propped up on Younghyun’s thighs to balance himself as he sinks down on the elder once again. His thighs are trembling from the exertion of lifting himself up and down, even with Younghyun’s hands on his hips guiding him.

Sex with Younghyun always steals his breath away. It feels like his body has changed just from the touch, everything feeling hot as he becomes accustomed to Younghyun’s body heat. And now, without it, he feels cold.

Wonpil rolls his hips on top of the elder, his back faced towards him, and lets out a small whimper as the head of Younghyun’s cock rubs along his sensitive spot inside. Drawing circles with his thumbs into Wonpil’s hips soothingly, Younghyun thrusts up to hit the smaller’s prostrate dead-on, drawing more mewls from Wonpil that sound like music to Younghyun’s ears.

Suddenly he sits up, his chest pressed against Wonpil’s back, and Wonpil gasps at the new angle that forces the elder even more against his delicate spot. Fingers ghosting along the sensitive tip of Wonpil’s cock, Younghyun bites his ear lightly. “Do you want me to touch it?”

Wonpil nods his head frantically in return, eyes squeezed shut and blush high on his cheeks. Younghyun chuckles lightly before wrapping his hand around Wonpil’s leaking member and rolling his hips up at the same time as Wonpil whimpers.

“Ah-hyung! Not both so fast, you’re so mean,” Wonpil whines weakly at the overstimulation, making Younghyun chuckle even more.

“I’m sorry, Wonpil-ah, your small moans are just too cute,” the elder answers him and Wonpil can hear the grin in his voice. He wants to see Younghyun’s smile and to kiss him, so Wonpil turns his head towards him. But before he can catch a glimpse of the other, Younghyun cups his chin softly and turns his head back to the front for better access to his neck as he bites down lightly.

His hips snap up faster and stronger, making Wonpil cry out as the elder drills into him. And it doesn’t take long before he can feel Younghyun pulsating inside of him and climaxing into the condom just as Wonpil spills into his hand with a small whimper.

 

The sound of water is heard from the bathroom as Younghyun takes a shower, Wonpil’s own hair still damp from his. Wonpil sits dazedly on Younghyun’s bed, a flush on his cheeks as he thinks about what they did just a few moments back. They have had sex multiple times now, but Younghyun still thinks that Wonpil gets embarrassed, so they keep doing it not facing each other. But Wonpil is fine with it now, actually really wants to see Younghyun’s face as they become one.

He bites his lips and buries his head in his knees with a small squeak as he imagines it. How dirty minded he has become in the time they have been dating.

“What got you squealing like this, Wonpil-ah?” Younghyun asks as he steps into the room, a towel hung around his neck as he rubs part of his hair with it and looks at Wonpil curiously.

“Younghyun-hyung,” Wonpil mumbles embarrassed as he peeks up, “I was just thinking about the newest album releases.”

Younghyun cocks his head to the side at Wonpil’s answer and sits down next to him, their thighs brushing. “Oh, that sounds interesting.”

Then he leans in and presses a light kiss to Wonpil’s cheek, leading the younger’s heart to skip a beat. “Let’s take a look at them at the store next week,” Younghyun says with a small smile and Wonpil beams, nodding his head happily. “Let’s do that!”

A ring brings them out of their little bubble and Younghyun takes his phone from the nightstand to see that he received a new mail. Wonpil looks over his shoulder too peek at his phone and stills when he sees the title of the mail.

It’s an invitation to a high school reunion.

His heart stands still for a moment before he quickly averts his gaze. It’s okay, he didn’t get one, so he won’t have to attend it, won’t have to face them again.

It still stings though, that even now, they are leaving him out.

“A reunion? Already? They sure are hasty,” Younghyun remarks as he deletes the mail without even reading the whole content.

“Are you not going to attend it?” Wonpil asks in a tiny voice, shoulders hunched up but eyes wide in curiosity.

“Nah, exams are soon so I have to study,” the elder answers and puts his phone away again before he turns to Wonpil. The expression on his face is so tender and gentle, Wonpil feels his heart stutter for a moment. “And it’s your birthday on that date, isn’t it?”

At those words Wonpil blinks up at Younghyun, taken by surprise. In turn Younghyun’s eyes curve in a small and relaxed smile before he leans his head onto Wonpil’s shoulder, nosing the exposed skin of his neck affectionately.

“I want to spend it together with you, just us, like this.”

Heat slowly creeps from the point of contact between them up to Wonpil’s cheeks, and he shyly ducks his head, leaning into the touch. They stay like that for a while, basking in each other’s presence.

Later that night as Younghyun lays sleeping beside him, one warm arm strewn over Wonpil’s waist, the younger’s phone lights up with an unread message. Wonpil, who is still awake sitting and reading an eBook, taps onto the notification to see what it is while being careful not to wake the taller.

It turns out to be a message from his elder sister. ‘ _Wonpillie you haven’t been home for a while~’_ it reads. Wonpil gets slightly flustered as he is reminded about how much time he has been spending with Younghyun and therefor cutting time with other people. It almost feels like he has forgotten how it was without the elder around. He’s about to type an excuse about the load of university assignments, when he already receives another message.

_College must be fun for you, I’m glad._

Wonpil pauses as he reads the words, warmth pooling in his stomach.  A small and genuine smile works its way onto his lips and he bites them to keep himself from grinning too hard.

_Yeah, it’s really fun noona._

He answers her before putting his phone away onto the night stand and lying down beside Younghyun. Still asleep, the elder immediately draws him closer and nuzzles his hair, and Wonpil feels like crying from all the love filling his veins. He closes his eyes tightly and buries his head in Younghyun’s neck and hopes – no, begs to please, never let Younghyun remember what happened in high school.

 

* * *

 

The music shop is mostly empty but still as polished and clean as the first time they visited it weeks ago. Wonpil looks through the display of the newest album releases excitedly, Younghyun close behind him.

“That’s the band you like, right?” Younghyun asks him as Wonpil comes to stop in front of a certain section.

“Yes, it’s the second part of their last comeback,” Wonpil answers and takes the DAY6 album to study it. “It’s a bit expensive though,” he says with a distressed whine as he sees the price tag.

“Oh, really?” Younghyun turns to study it as well with raised eyebrows, but before either one of them can say anything more, a ringing suddenly sounds out. It seems to come from Younghyun’s pocket as he quickly takes out his phone, a frown marring his handsome face when he sees the caller ID.

“I’m sorry, I have to take this,” Younghyun tells him before quickly striding away to answer the call.

Wonpil swallows and bites his lips, his throat suddenly feeling constricted. He had looked over and seen the caller ID ‘ _Jaebum_ ’ on the screen.

Memories of someone tripping him and laughing at him as he hit the ground flood his head along the name, and Wonpil feels a heaviness settle in him.

 

“ _Yah, Younghyun, why haven’t you answered the mail yet?”_ Jaebum’s static voice comes out of the speaker as Younghyun leans against the wall in an empty room of the shop.

“Jaebum, don’t just call me simply because of that matter,” he tells the other instead and pinches the bridge of his nose.

 _“Well, it’s you own fault for not answering!”_ Jaebum retaliates before letting out a huff. _“Why? Are you not planning on coming to the class reunion?”_

Younghyun purses his lips, “I’m busy with university.”

 _“Is that all?”_ The other questions him, “ _Is there perhaps someone you don’t want to meet again?”_

At that Younghyun chuckles lightly and shifts his weight onto one leg. “No, that’s not it.”

 _“Yeah, everyone liked you after all,”_ Jaebum says with amusement in his voice, _“But I would totally understand. I mean we didn’t invite that one dude from first year, since it would be awkward.”_

Younghyun stills at those words as Jaebum continues on the other line. _“We always excluded him back then, do you remember? It would be strange to suddenly invite him now. What was his name again? Kim Wonshik?”_

“Wonpil, his name is Kim Wonpil.” Younghyun answers, the grip on his phone tight, “I still remember him.”

Around the corner Wonpil has his mouth covered with his hands, eyes wide in shock as he hears Younghyun’s words.

“I was a horrible person to him back then,” Younghyun says softly into the receiver, “I can’t apologize enough for what I did.”

With every syllable spoken, Wonpil’s blood becomes colder and colder. Younghyun hadn’t forgotten at all.

He staggers away from the wall with trembling limbs, gripping his shirt to ground himself as coldness seems to settle in his stomach. The shop becomes blurry in his unfocused sight as Wonpil tries to take it all in. So Younghyun actually does remember everything from back then.

His knuckles turn white in his tight grip and sweat starts to gather on his temples. He spots Younghyun walk around the corner, seemingly finished with his phone call, and Wonpil can’t help but think _why_.

 _Why?_ He wonders as Younghyun spots him and smiles so affectionately like he always does. _Why did he get close to him?_

Wonpil remembers the cold eyes, the disgust in them. Didn’t Younghyun hate him back then?

He bites his lips and averts his gaze nervously while trying to stop the trembling in his hands as Younghyun steps in front of him.

“W-who was the call from?” Is the question he asks the elder as he hopes that his voice isn’t betraying the inner turmoil of emotions he currently feels.

“He’s someone you don’t know,” Younghyun answers him with a small smile, “Just a friend from Canada.”

Wonpil pauses. _Lie_ , Younghyun is lying.

He doesn’t know what to think, what to feel at that, all he knows is that he needs to get away right now. So he grips the strap of his bag tightly and ducks his head to avoid the other’s gaze. “I don’t think I will buy anything today…”

“Oh, I see,” Younghyun says slightly surprised by his decision but doesn’t seem to have sensed Wonpil’s changed mood. “Shall we go home then?”

As answer Wonpil mutely nods his head and they make their way out of the shop and towards the elder’s apartment. But near the train station Wonpil mumbles out an excuse about needing to call his sister when Younghyun asks him if he wants to eat dinner together, so they part ways there with Wonpil kissing his cheek softly, reluctant to let Younghyun go, yet needing the distance from him.

Once home Wonpil immediately buries into his sheets, curled into himself as thoughts and feelings of insecurity and fear flood into him. Just why is Younghyun doing all this? Is he planning on bullying Wonpil again? Is he going to mock Wonpil for his feelings? For liking guys?

But then Younghyun’s gentle smile flashes before his mind and Wonpil bites his lips.

No, Younghyun isn’t that kind of person, he’s not cruel.

Sitting up with the blanket bundled around him and knees pulled close to his chest, Wonpil clenches his hands in the sheets as he tries to sort his thoughts. If Younghyun wanted to laugh at him, he wouldn’t have been so kind, wouldn’t have shown so much affection or have had sex with Wonpil. But then it doesn’t make any sense why Younghyun acts like nothing ever happened before.

_“I was a horrible person to him back then, I can’t apologize enough for what I did.”_

His eyes start to shake as realization pours into him and Wonpil looks up at the ceiling blankly. He thinks of all the time he has spend with Younghyun and how often the elder apologizes to him, especially during sex.

Is he together with Wonpil because he feels bad?

Even back then, Younghyun has always been kind to everyone, even to him. So Younghyun doesn’t like him at all, he only regrets what he did back then. He must have sympathized with him, so he decided to go out with Wonpil to make up for it.

His hands start to tremble and his lips start to quiver as everything starts to add up. The reason Younghyun won’t have sex with him facing each other is because he doesn’t want to see him. Younghyun doesn’t want to see a man’s body, doesn’t want to see Wonpil’s body. He probably turns Wonpil away so he can pretend that he is someone else, that he is a girl.

Tears gather in his eyes and slowly drip down his cheeks until they start to flow uncontrollably and Wonpil has to bite his lips to suppress his sobs. The more it makes sense, the colder his body gets.

It was too good to be true after all, to meet the person he’s held so dear to his heart again in university and for him to like Wonpil back despite them being the same gender, for them to go out together.

Because he had believed that these feelings were mutual, he had been so full of happiness, but now he can’t help but wonder what Younghyun must have felt when he looked at him.

Wonpil knows that this can’t go on, that this relationship can’t last. Younghyun doesn’t love him and Wonpil doesn’t have the right to hold on to him.

So with shaking hands he picks up his phone and opens the chat with Younghyun. His fingers tremble terribly as he tries to type out the message, but he just can’t seem to tap the right letters as his limbs shake and tears blur his vision.

_Sorry for being so sudden-_

_We should end it-_

_Let’s break up-_

He has to retype the words again and again to correct them, but no matter what they sound wrong. Taking a deep breath in the hopes to calm himself a bit, Wonpil speaks the words out loud so he knows what he will send.

“I’m thankful for everything, but we shouldn’t be together anymore. So let’s break up-“

Tears drip onto the screen of his phone and Wonpil has to pause as he lets out a broken sob. He curls into the blanket again and cries, unable to hold it in.

 

* * *

 

“Dinner tonight at my place still stands?”

Younghyun ducks down to catch Wonpil’s eyes and the younger looks up from his notes to blink at him.

In the end Wonpil couldn’t send the message, he just couldn’t bring himself to break it off.

Younghyun is smiling at him patiently, still waiting for his answer, and Wonpil quickly scrambles to remember their plans.

“I-If you’re not going to the class reunion…” Wonpil mumbles hesitantly as Younghyun pulls out the chair to sit down next to him at the table in the choir-room.

“I told you I’m not going to attend it, didn’t I?” Younghyun chuckles lightly and leans his head onto his hand. “Besides, it’s your birthday isn’t it?”

Then he leans in close towards Wonpil, his lips brushing Wonpil’s ear and hand cupping his mouth as if he’s telling a secret, and whispers, “We need to celebrate it.”

A blush rises to Wonpil’s cheeks as Younghyun leans back again with a satisfied grin, and the smaller has to bite his lips at the fluttering in his stomach.

 

In the dim light of Younghyun’s bedroom the taller hands Wonpil a neatly wrapped gift which Wonpil takes gratefully. “Hyung, you didn’t have to,” he mumbles shyly but Younghyun shushes him gently.

“It’s your birthday, Wonpil-ah. What kind of Boyfriend would I be if I didn’t get you anything?” He tells the younger softly. “Now open it, I want to see your reaction.”

Wonpil bites his lips at the eagerness in Younghyun’s voice before looking down at the present. He rips the wrapping open carefully on the sides, afraid that he might tear something inside. The paper slowly gives away to reveal the latest DAY6 album Wonpil had wanted to buy the last time he and Younghyun had been at the music store.

With wide eyes he turns to the other, touched that Younghyun remembered it. “Wh-wha- Younghyun, thank you!”

In turn Younghyun grins at him, immensely pleased that Wonpil seems so happy about the gift he gave him. He leans in to bump their noses together lightly and Wonpil has to cross his eyes more than usual to take in Younghyun’s handsome grin.

“I’m glad you like it, but that’s not all I prepared.” Younghyun tells him and Wonpil bites his lips, thinking how cool Younghyun is as the elder sets up a white box on the table.

When he pulls off the lid it reveals a white strawberry cake inside. Wonpil gasps at the small and pretty cake in wonder, even more touched that Younghyun even remembered what kind he likes the most. Younghyun lights up the candle in the middle before turning off the light, setting the room in the dim but warm glow of the candle.

“I haven’t celebrated my birthday with anyone but my family in a long while…” Wonpil whispers as he watches the small light in awe.

“Really?” Younghyun asks him, slightly disbelieving the younger. But Wonpil just nods his head shyly and Younghyun’s heart warms. He winds an arm around Wonpil’s hip and pulls him closer. “Well, I’m glad that I get to have you like this, all to myself.”

He turns to Wonpil, a small but gentle smile gracing his lips and Wonpil can only look at him in wonder, the light of the candle reflecting and glimmering in Younghyun’s sharp eyes.

“C’mon, you need to blow out the candle and make a wish!” The elder reminds him cheerfully, bringing Wonpil back to the situation at hand.

Wonpil blinks at the candle, taking in its small light that casts Younghyun in warm tones. He thinks back to Younghyun’s smile, to the feel of Younghyun’s lips against his, the comfort of Younghyun’s body curled around Wonpil’s, and he closes his eyes. Even if it’s all a lie, he never wants it to pass.

_Please, just like this, let me stay with Younghyun, just a bit longer._

Then he blows out the candle.

After Younghyun switched the light back on, Wonpil turns to him with a bright smile but stops when he sees the wide eyed look Younghyun gives him. He’s about to ask the elder what’s wrong until he feels something dripping down his chin. It’s only then that Wonpil realizes that he started crying, a few tears spilling past his eyes. He quickly ducks his head and blinks to try and keep them at bay.

“Wonpil-ah, are you alright?” Younghyun asks him, worry written all over his face.

“Oh, I-I’m alright, it’s just-“ Wonpil has to bite his lips to suppress a sob, his fists clenching on his knees as more and more tears spill from between his lashes, “I’m happy.”

He lifts his head, smile bright and eyes glistening as he beams up at Younghyun. “I’m so happy, hyung, thank you!”

Younghyun’s eyes are still wide as he looks at Wonpil in wonder before his gaze softens, smile gentle as they just look and smile at each other in content.

“Happy birthday, Wonpil-ah.”

Younghyun squeezes his hand atop his knee and Wonpil laughs, even as more tears drip down his cheeks. Because even if it’s all a lie, he can’t help but feel happy. He really can’t bring himself to break off their relationship, he just loves Younghyun too much, even more than before. It seems like no matter how his heart or body changes, Younghyun will always hold a special place in him.

Biting his lip, Wonpil climbs into Younghyun’s lap and kisses him sweetly, much to the elder’s surprise. It doesn’t take long though for Younghyun to catch on and deepen the kiss. Wonpil lets himself be guided to bend over the bed, Younghyun’s hands gentle as he peels off his sweater. Wonpil closes his eyes to the feel of Younghyun’s hand on him, leaning his forehead onto the sheets as Younghyun’s hand wanders down his pants.

Even if he’s not loved by him, he can feel Younghyun’s all as he touches him like this. Younghyun stretches him gently and kisses the back of Wonpil’s neck to the melody of Wonpil’s breathy moans.

Then he pushes in, his whole girth filling Wonpil like the love Wonpil feels for him and Wonpil cries, hasn’t stopped crying the whole time. Younghyun pants harshly as he thrusts gently as not to hurt Wonpil and joins their hands together on the bed, the contact sending warmth through Wonpil’s shuddering body.

Like this Wonpil can almost pretend. If Younghyun is going to give him this kindness, then Wonpil will pretend not to know the truth.

A hand snakes around his front and encloses his member and Wonpil mewls as Younghyun starts to pump him. Wonpil feels sorry for making Younghyun do something that must be unpleasant for him. He wonders what face he’s making right now. But it’s okay that Wonpil can’t see his face, because then Younghyun will feel uncomfortable and Wonpil is happy as long as Younghyun is happy.

The faltering rhythm of Younghyun’s hips tells Wonpil that he’s close just like him. He squeezes their hands and bites his lips. One day Younghyun won’t be able to bear it anymore and he will want to break up with him. And when that day comes, Wonpil will let him go.

Younghyun cums inside him with a low groan just as Wonpil spills into his hand. Still breathing harshly, he leans over the younger, bracketing Wonpil in his warmth, and Wonpil leans into the touch. As they’re enclosed in each other, Wonpil can’t help but hope that day won’t come until the far future.

 

“Younghyun, can I take a photo of you?” Wonpil asks later as they lie in bed together, still naked but with the blanket over them and freshly showered. He holds his phone out expectantly and Younghyun blinks at him in surprise before he props his head up on his hand with an amused smile.

“Sure, but then,” his smile turns wolfish, “I get to take pictures of you, too.”

He rolls over and holds himself up to lean over Wonpil as he gins down at him. “Just like this, without clothes.”

This time it’s Wonpil who blinks at him in surprise before heat creeps up his cheeks and he whines at the taller for teasing him like this. “Hyung, I didn’t mean it like that!”

Younghyun chuckles lightly, his laugh deep and warming Wonpil’s heart as he falls back down to lie next to the younger, still laughing. Then he turns a lazy smile towards Wonpil, and not one to miss a chance, Wonpil takes a photo of him, wanting to capture that smile forever.

 

* * *

 

The next evening Wonpil lies in his own bed alone, going through the picture he took of Younghyun in his gallery. He looks at the photo he took of Younghyun yesterday while he was laughing, at the one he had sneaked during a lecture, and at the selfie they had taken together in the music store.

Tears start to gather in his eyes until they drip down the sides of his face as he looks at their smiling faces. And he reminds himself that he has to treasure this a lot, because one day he’ll only have these memories left once Younghyun leaves him.

Wonpil rolls onto his side and holds his phone close to his chest as he curls into himself, tears wetting the pillow below him.

Even if he can’t change his current feelings or go back to a time where Younghyun didn’t have such a hold on him, he wouldn’t want to. Because as long as he has these memories, he can keep on living happily.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END.
> 
> Ha ha just kidding (although this would actually be a pretty good - if pretty cruel - ending).  
> If there's one thing I realized while writing this chapter, it's that I can't write angst to save my life. I hope it was still somewhat enjoyable to read though orz  
> Lately I've been getting so many fanfic ideas, my friends have started to call me a typing machine ha ha. (Funny thing is that a lot of them are youngfeel even though youngfeel isn't even my DAY6 OTP, Young K is just such a prince charming ugh.)  
> ANYWAY I'm sorry to say that I won't be able to update the next chapter as quickly since exams are coming close again and I also need to focus on my other fanfics and I still have some art comissions I need to finish drawing "orz
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING AND SUPPORTING THIS STORY!!! SERIOUSLY THANK YOU!!!


	4. I loved you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very bad continuation of the already bad angst.
> 
> To this chapter the lyrics and mellody of 'I Loved You' fit very well.  
> (Guys don't listen and read the lyrics to 'I loved you' late at night when feeling down, because that's a guaranteed tear-jerker, Young K's first few lines always get me the hardest, like oof my heart)

 

Cute. Wonpil has always been cute.

That’s the first thought that comes to Younghyun’s mind when he sees the younger look up at their faculty building in wonder.

His second thought is that unlike back then, this time he won’t mess up. He watches Wonpil from afar like he had done the last few days of university and makes up his mind. Today for sure, he will speak to him.

So with determination he walk towards him, his eyes not leaving Wonpil’s still so delicate form while the only thing on his mind is _Wonpil, Wonpil, Wonpil_. He’s always wanted to apologize to him.

Just as the younger starts to run forward, Younghyun walks into his way and they collide. His papers scatter everywhere and Younghyun would be mortified in embarrassment if he weren’t so distracted by being able to hear Wonpil’s voice again.

He interrupts the smaller’s string of apologies and as Wonpil looks up in shock, Younghyun is finally able to see those eyes look back at him again. Those eyes he’s longed so much to see.

Because since the very beginning of high school, he’s always been in love with Wonpil.

_“So we go to the same college, huh? It’s been a long time, Wonpil.”_

* * *

 

Between all the students and teachers, since the beginning when he first met him, Younghyun couldn’t get bored of looking at Wonpil. He was always smiling, his eyes crossed and so radiant, and Younghyun felt like he was blinded.

But that one evening in the class room, when he had caught Wonpil cleaning the room by himself again, and the younger had smiled up at him specifically, something in Younghyun’s heart had cracked open. Feeling slightly flustered, for the very first time he had thought that Wonpil was cute.

There was just something to his eyes, to his smile, to his everything that drew Younghyun in like a moth to the flame as he started to spend more and more time with Wonpil. They would do the class duties together to then walk home side by side after or simply partner up for group projects. And slowly, without noticing himself that he was looking, and without Wonpil noticing that he was being looked at, he fell in love with the younger.

He couldn’t help it, always stealing glances at Wonpil, how he would nibble his bottom-lip in thought or how the curls of his hair would bounce lightly with every motion. So close, he started to wonder how it would feel to the touch, if Wonpil would be as soft as he looked.

_His wide doe eyes, slightly crossed and looking up at him, a flush spread on his cheeks-_

With a gasp Younghyun woke up one morning, sweat running down his temples and fingers itching to touch something that wasn’t there. Mortified, Younghyun lifted his sheets to see the wetness he already felt and his sin staining them. Dread gathered in the pit of his stomach.

What was going on? How could he think of Wonpil with those kind of intentions? Wonpil was a male, this could not be.

He shook those thoughts and memories of a dream off, locking them away to never be looked at again.

The classroom was once again empty except for the two of them as they filled out the class rooster together. Pink light from the sky coloured Wonpil in warm hues and Younghyun couldn’t bring himself to look away from the way his lashes cast shadows onto his cheeks. But then he was shaken out of his trance when the younger looked up at him with wide blinking eyes.

“H-hyung, why are you looking at me like this?” Wonpil asked hesitantly, fumbling with the pen in his hand. “Do I look weird?”

But Younghyun couldn’t think of an answer, his brain too busy processing the question as his blood ran cold in dread. He had been found out. Wonpil had caught him watching.

 _No, it wasn’t like that_ , Younghyun repeated to himself as he distanced himself from Wonpil, _he wasn’t watching him with those intentions, he was not._

To feel that way was wrong. Everyone in their grade made jokes about it, he saw adults shaking their heads about the matter. But his intentions weren’t like that!

Those disgusting thoughts, he tried to reel them back. But it was hard, Wonpil was just too sweet, too cute. Whenever he was together with the younger, he couldn’t keep his eyes away, couldn’t keep his wishes and thoughts clean. So he ignored him, acted like he wasn’t there in the hopes that if he did so, then maybe his feelings would vanish with him.

But it was no good, because Wonpil was still so sweet, so cute, and he would try to reach out to Younghyun, thinking that he had done something wrong to suddenly be treated so coldly by the elder. His delicate hands had grasped Younghyun’s upper arm tentatively as he apologized for something he hadn’t done, and it was like an electric shock went through Younghyun’s whole body at the point of contact.

Panicking, he hadn’t even noticed that the bottle in his hand was open, had just whirled around and hit the younger with the water straight in the face.

_“Don’t touch me! What’s wrong with your eyes and ears? You look like a monkey.”_

He didn’t know what had come over him in that moment, but it was too late now to take the words back. Wonpil’s eyes were wide in shock, the whole class room silent at the sudden action before they burst out in laughter. But Younghyun didn’t heed them any mind as his eyes were glued on Wonpil who slowly lowered his head, shoulders starting to shake. He didn’t know if the water dripping down the smaller’s cheeks came from tears or from him, but he didn’t stay to find out, quickly leaving the class room and not looking back.

The other students in their class quickly started to treat Wonpil the same way, mocking him and talking badly about him right in front of his face. After all, if the popular and always nice Younghyun disliked someone, there must have been a good reason for it.

He only watched on as their class mates tripped and laughed at Wonpil, never joining but also never stopping them. He ignored the stabbing in his heart whenever the younger shed a tear and tried not to look at him with these intentions he tried so hard to get rid of.

Still, he couldn’t help but wonder why Wonpil had to be a guy, even though he was so cute, even though he’s fallen so deeply in love with him.

Then one day Wonpil stopped coming to class. Younghyun could only watch as the seat in front of him stayed empty, wondering and swallowing his worries if something happened to the younger. It was only until their home-room teacher told them that Wonpil had changed schools that he finally knew.

His words became stuck in throat and Younghyun was overwhelmed by a wave of emotions, unable to decide what to feel. Regret? Worry? Sadness?

But then a small smile worked its way onto his face, because most of all he felt relieved. This way Wonpil would never be able to find out more about his feelings. This way he could get rid of them before anyone could.

Shortly after he applied for an exchange year in Canada, nothing holding him back here anymore, and with his grades quickly got in. And his school life there was peaceful. He made good friends there and the lessons came to him easily. But most of all, no feelings ever confused him again.

A lot of girl confessed to him but he turned them all down, always using the excuse that he didn’t want to start a long distance relationship for when he ultimately had to fly back to Korea. Yet the actual truth was that he just didn’t feel anything when he looked at them.

At that a few guys had jokingly asked him if he were gay and his throat had dried up in shock, sweat gathering at his temple. But then his good friend Jaehyung that he made there had only laughed and asked them if they thought that just because he himself was gay. And Younghyun had learned how much more open Canada is.

He had looked at Jaehyung with wide eyes, so taken back by the confidence and comfort the elder took in his sexuality, and he had wondered for the very first time if maybe his feelings weren’t wrong after all.

It was as if his eyes were opened for the first time, people in Canada were so much more open. Jaehyung showed him movies, bars, and other people who were just as open about their sexuality as the elder. And Jaehyung never asked Younghyun why he was so fascinated about the topic, only looked at him with knowing eyes as they joked around.

So slowly, he took the courage to gather experience himself, find out a bit more about his own interests. Once word got out that Younghyun was open to both genders, boys immediately started to flock to him as well. He went on a few dates, slept with some people, and started to become more confident in himself in Canada. He realized that his preferences from before weren’t wrong, that it was just the social pressure that had held him back.

Still, even though now also other males came to him, he still never felt anything for them. It was another evening that he and Jaehyung were just hanging around in the elder’s dorm after Younghyun had rejected another guy that Jaehyung asked him the question.

 _“Have you ever even been in love before_?” The elder asked him jokingly and Younghyun had been about to retort something back when it struck him.

At those words a memory flashed through his mind, of crossed eyes and a smile so bright it could put the sun to shame, and tears started to gather in his eyes as realization hit him.

_Oh god, what had he done?_

He loved Wonpil. He couldn’t deny it anymore, couldn’t forget it either, and he finally gave up against his feelings – these feelings that have been haunting him by his own past mistakes.

Jaehyung had looked at him in concern and asked what was wrong, but Younghyun could only think about how he wanted to see Wonpil again, that he wanted to apologize. He wanted to talk to him like they did before it all went wrong.

The last month of his stay in Canada he could only think about how he will make it right if he ever sees Wonpil again. But the fact that they might never meet again and that he would forever have to live with his past mistakes let his heart sink with every day.

So when he had spotted Wonpil from afar on his first day at university back in Korea, he had thought it a daydream. But then he realized that this is real, that this is his second chance, and this time he could not mess up. When they had run into each other, he should have expected to not be greeted well, still it hurt when the younger looked at him in pure horror and ran away. But it made sense, of course Wonpil would hate him this much after everything.

He couldn’t scare the younger, he had to act natural like it’s nothing. So Younghyun approached Wonpil with care and a light smile like he didn’t hold feelings for him for the last few years. In order to start over, the only thing he could do is pretend the past never happened.

And it seemed to work. Wonpil slowly started to open up to him, and finally, Younghyun was graced again by the smile he had so dearly missed. His heart skips a beat whenever Wonpil’s eyes would twinkle up at him, but he ignored it to bask in the friendship that has blossomed between them again. To be able to talk with Wonpil again like in their first year of high school, it’s like a dream come true.

But Wonpil is still so cute like before. The way he becomes excited when talking about the music he likes or how he bites his bottom-lip when in thought, Younghyun couldn’t stop his feelings from boiling up inside him again. He thought he could keep them concealed to protect the fragile friendship that they have, but then Wonpil had smiled so brightly at him under the night sky illuminated by the low glow of the street lights and the stars.

Cute, Wonpil is so cute, he didn’t want to hand him over to anyone.

So he grasped the younger’s arm when he had already turned around, and before he could stop himself, he had asked him out. It was impulsive as he was overtaken by his emotions, by his longing. He didn’t think that Wonpil would reciprocate his feelings, not after what he had done.

But even then, Wonpil accepted his feelings. Younghyun couldn’t believe it. Had Wonpil’s opinion of him changed?

Happy, he’s so happy, to be able to kiss Wonpil like this, to look at him like this, to hold him like this. The days he finally gets to spend with Wonpil like he had longed for so much, Younghyun is truly happy. When he tastes Wonpil for the first time inside the music shop, it feels like it’s his first kiss, like the ones before never happened. The kiss wasn’t anything special, but it was Wonpil, and that alone made it the most special to Younghyun.

But even though he’s happy, there’s still a part of him that doesn’t believe this is right.

Though he acts like he doesn’t, Younghyun still clearly remembers what he had done to the smaller back then. So he can’t help himself but wonder why Wonpil would go out with someone like him. After all Wonpil had been so scarred of him at the beginning, had even run away from him, there’s no way he fell in love with him. Wonpil had even cried when he had kissed him the very first time under the night sky. It must have been because he was afraid, there is no other explanation. Because he was scarred of Younghyun, Wonpil couldn’t reject him. For Wonpil to have fallen in love with him, it’s too good to be true.

And now Wonpil isn’t the only one afraid, because Younghyun is also scared – scared that Wonpil will reject him after all.

He pushed that fear down and tried to live in the happiness of the moment. That date and evening building up to them kissing passionately on his bed, Younghyun can almost forget all his worries as he indulges in the younger.

But then Wonpil pushed him away, his eyes wide in shock, and Younghyun remembers his own fears.

He doesn’t want to see Wonpil be scarred of him, to reject him. So he turns the smaller around, reassures him and makes him succumb to the sensation of their bodies for his own selfish reasons. Since this way, he won’t see the rejection in Wonpil’s eyes, and this way maybe Wonpil won’t be scarred of him when he doesn’t have to look at Younghyun. He wants to make this a pleasurable memory for the younger no matter what.

And he’s glad, because Wonpil’s body seems to be weak to pleasure as he mewls under his touch. At the very least Younghyun can satisfy his body. He wants Wonpil to succumb to him more and more with every thrust into the smaller’s pliant body. Younghyun revels in the feeling of skin against skin, knowing that he is the only one who can touch the deepest part of Wonpil like this. With every whimper and moan of his name that falls from Wonpil’s lips, Younghyun wants to get lost in him more and more. But no matter what, he is still aware that he, who uses sex as an excuse to bind the younger to himself, is truly pathetic.

 

He watches Wonpil from the side as he browses through the aisles of CDs, feels like he will never tire of watching him do so. Secretly he prepares everything for Wonpil’s birthday, buys the album of the band he likes for him. Even if the younger doesn’t like him the same way, Younghyun won’t do anything that he doesn’t want anymore.

As Wonpil’s eyes shine in wonder when he unwraps his gift and sees the new album, Younghyun can only smile and think that this time, he won’t hurt Wonpil, never again. He’ll be kind to him.

“I’m so happy, hyung, thank you!”

The tears surprise Younghyun but the genuine smile on Wonpil’s face warms his heart deeply, and he interlocks their hands together.

“Happy birthday, Wonpil-ah,” he whispers softly as they smile at each other.

He is once again surprised though when the younger suddenly climbs into his lap and kisses him timidly. It’s the first time that Wonpil is the one to initiate something and Younghyun feels warm, so very warm. Not wasting any time, he quickly deepens the kiss before bending the smaller over his bed, lets himself indulge in the moment as he undresses Wonpil.

And as they become one, Younghyun begs, pleads, that please, let Wonpil fall in love with him one day.

 

* * *

 

The people around him at the table are chattering lightly as they converse about the assignment. Younghyun listens with one ear only as he is already almost finished with his part of it and is slightly distracted thinking about a certain someone. He hasn’t seen Wonpil the whole day yet, the younger wasn’t even in the choir-room they usually spend their break together in.

Just then his phone chimes up with a message and he takes it out to check it. He’s a bit disappointed though when he sees that it’s Jaehyung who texted him instead of Wonpil.

 _From: Jae_  
yo Brian my plane arrives tomorrow evening  
I’ll come over the day after  
that good for you????

 _To: Jae_  
yeah sure  
just text me when you’re there

With a light smile he puts his phone away again, happy that he will see his best friend again soon. Just when he has placed it back into his pocket though, his phone starts vibrating again. Thinking that it’s probably Jaehyung who sent him some emoji or something, he contemplates about just ignoring it. But the others are still talking about the assignment that he has finished by now, so he decides to check out the message after all. To his pleasant surprise, it’s finally a text from Wonpil. His smile quickly falls off his lips again though when he reads it.

_From: Wonpil-ah  
Hyung I need your help_

Worried that something might have happened, Younghyun quickly packs his things and gathers his bag to leave to check on his boyfriend. He bids the people of his study-group goodbye with a polite smile before quickly leaving, barely refraining from running down the hallway

A hand on his arm stops him though and he turns to see that one of the girls has run after him.

“Oppa, where are you going?” She asks him with wide eyes, slightly out of breath.

“Wonpil texted me,” he answers her, wanting to get to the younger as quickly as possible. “Apparently he needs help with something.”

“But we still haven’t finished studying yet!” She protests lightly as Younghyun starts walking again and she falls into step beside him, clearly reluctant to let him go yet.

“I’m already finished with the assignment, so I’m leaving early to check on Wonpil.” He tells her politely.

“You’re always talking about him! Wonpil this, Wonpil that!” She suddenly says in a mocking tone. “Younghyun oppa, are you perhaps gay? Th-that’s disgusting!”

He halts in his steps, body freezing with the words. Then he slowly turns to her as she expectantly looks up at him, her cheeks flushed in jealousy. With a polite yet cold smile, he carefully removes her hand from his arm and leans down to whisper in her ear.

“I am not ashamed of who I am, but saying things like this – maybe you should be.”

She gasps in mortification as she blinks up at him, but he only continues to smile politely before turning around and walking away. Never again will he be ashamed about loving Wonpil.

 

“Y-Younghyun-hyung, you came so quickly?”

Wonpil’s eyes are red and swollen when he opens the door and Younghyun’s heart breaks a bit at the sight. He quickly ushers the younger back inside again, the worry growing in him.

“Wonpil-ah, what’s wrong? I came as fast as I could when I got your message,” he tells the smaller as he soothingly rubs his shoulder.

Wonpil sniffles lightly before blinking up at him, his eyes clearly red from crying. “I’m sorry, hyung. I-it’s just this composition I can’t finish.”

Younghyun nods his head in understanding and guides them to the younger’s bed so they can sit down, silently becoming aware that this is his first time in Wonpil’s small apartment.

“I’ve been unable to come up with more ideas and the deadline is soon, and then suddenly my pen stopped working and, and-“ He hiccups, “-and I kind of became a mess and unable to do anything.”

Then he leans his head onto Younghyun’s shoulder, burying his face in the fabric of his sweater as he sniffles lightly. “But I really wanted you to be the one to help me…” He mumbles shyly and Younghyun’s heart flutters.

He understands in what kind of situation the younger is, how frustrated he must have felt. The fact that Wonpil came to him in this situation fills his chest with joy. So he carefully lifts the younger’s chin and wipes away a tear with his thumb.

“It’s okay, Wonpil-ah, how about you take a rest first? We can take a look at it together later.” He suggests softly, to which the smaller bites his lips before nodding reluctantly.

“I-I have a few drafts saved on my phone, but it’s in the kitchen.” Wonpil informs him, eyes slightly crossed as he looks up at the taller.

A small smile works its way onto Younghyun’s face and he bends down to give a quick peck to Wonpil’s lips.

“I’ll go get it, you lay down and rest first.” He tells the younger, making sure that Wonpil follows his words and relaxes on his bed, before Younghyun leaves to get said phone.

Even though Wonpil seems to have been hesitating so much, he still turned to Younghyun for help. A small flush along with a smile works its way onto Younghyun’s face. Perhaps he had been overthinking before, maybe Wonpil’s image of him has really changed.

He spots the phone lying on the kitchen counter and picks it up, surprised when he sees that it unlocks without any password. It opens directly to their shared chat history since it’s the last application Wonpil had used. He grins when he sees that the younger has saved him in as ‘Younghyunie-hyung’. His attention is taken though when he sees an unsent message from the younger from just a few days ago.

Younghyun’s heart stops.

_To: Younghyunie-hyung  
I’m thankful for everything hyung, but let’s break up (unsent)_

The world stills for a few seconds as his body becomes cold. He knew it. Everything has been too good so far, there’s no way it could have been true.

While he - the bully - remembers everything that had happened so clearly, it’s not like Wonpil - the one who had been bullied - has forgotten. He has to remind himself that even though Wonpil went out with him, he didn’t do it because he likes him. No matter how kind Younghyun is to Wonpil, he won’t be able to change his heart.

Even if Wonpil smiles at him, even if he looks happy, even if they embrace each other, one day Wonpil will want to break up. Because after all, he is not in a relationship with Younghyun out of love, but out of fear and obligation.

His lips draw into a tight line as he locks the phone again and makes his way back to Wonpil. When he opens the door the younger is still lying in bed, but he quickly sits up when Younghyun enters. Then he smiles so very brightly at him, his eyes still glistening, and Younghyun wants to rip his own heart out to make it stop hurting.

Once again he wonders why Wonpil has to be so cute. And he wonders again why, even though he fell so deeply in love with him, why won’t Wonpil fall in love with _him_? What does he have to do to make Wonpil look back at him?

He doesn’t know what exactly drives him to it, but he walks towards Wonpil with purpose in his steps, getting onto the bed and crowding the younger in.

“Hyung?” Wonpil asks him curiously, crossed doe eyes blinking up at him.

Before he can say anything more though Younghyun has already crashed his lips against the smaller’s, taking him in a deep kiss as he draw’s Wonpil closer by his hips. He crowds the younger into the corner and positions himself between his spread knees.

Wonpil’s hands grasp at his arms weakly as Younghyun continues to devour him. But then he takes one of the younger’s hands and guides it to his crotch, never breaking their kiss. Wonpil’s eyes widen when his fingers feel the taller’s hardness beneath his jeans. He doesn’t pull his hand back though, only mewls into the kiss as he closes his eyes again.

But Younghyun keeps his eyes open, watching everything of the younger that he can see. Although Wonpil wants to break up, he still seems to want to do these things.

He breaks their kiss to quickly pull the younger’s pants down along with his underwear and Wonpil gasps when his erection springs free. He doesn’t bother with his own pants though, only pulls the zipper down enough to free his own hard-on. Then he presses in closer, gathering his own pre-cum to wet his hand before wrapping it around both their erections, drawing a whimper out of Wonpil.

“Younghyun,” Wonpil gasps and Younghyun kisses the following gasps from his petal-like lips as he starts to pump his hand.

Younghyun thought he’s fine with the way their relationship is, but the fact that it’s build solely on this physical aspect makes him feel empty. And he knows that this last desperate attempt of his to bind Wonpil to him by his body is so very pathetic.

He watches Wonpil writhe under his touch, cheeks flushed a bright red and lips parted as he mewls. He belatedly realizes that he hasn’t turned the younger around, but it doesn’t matter anymore anyway, because now he knows clearly of his feelings.

He moves his hand faster, a low pressure building up in his abdomen as Wonpil blinks at him from hazy eyes, delicate hands fisted in his sweater tightly and lithe legs propped up on Younghyun’s.

But even as everything he’s dreamed about is spread out in front of him, he only feels empty. Even if he continues to pretend not to notice, the truth will never change.

Wonpil doesn’t love him.

With a last flick of his hand, Wonpil lets out a loud gasp as he cums, and Younghyun closes his eyes with a frown as he follows the younger, both spilling into his hand.

Still trembling lightly in aftershocks, Wonpil collapses weakly against the wall, small hiccups leaving his lips as he still holds onto Younghyun’s shirt tightly. Younghyun also slowly comes down from his high and quickly takes a few tissues from the bedside-table to clean his hand, then he cleans both their members carefully as well. When by the end of that Wonpil is still breathing heavily though, Younghyun’s frown turns into one of worry.

“Wonpil-ah, are you okay?” He asks, softly pulling the smaller against his chest and checking his body temperature. Wonpil only manages to nod his head weakly though and Younghyun swallows in guilt.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that when you’re still so exhausted,” he quickly apologizes, but then Wonpil shakes his head.

“No, hyung, I wanted it as well,” the younger tells him in a small voice, but Younghyun still feels bad, knows that he’s at fault.

He lays the smaller down before lying down next to him and holding him close. Emotionally and now also physically exhausted, Wonpil falls asleep in his arms quickly. Younghyun feels guilty for having used the younger for his own selfish reasons like that when he had clearly not been feeling well. It seems like he hasn’t matured at all.

He doesn’t want to hurt Wonpil anymore, he doesn’t want Wonpil to hate him any more than this. Even though he planned not to mess up this time, he wonders why it still ended up like this. Just because he has been nice, it doesn’t mean that Wonpil will magically develop feelings for him.

Cradling the younger closer, Younghyun squeezes his eyes shut as he buries his nose in Wonpil’s soft locks.

Before he hurts Wonpil even more, he wonders if he’ll be able to set him free until then.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the first few parts of this chapter are a jumbled mess, and the tenses and grammar are horrible. I am really not satisfied with this chapter at all, but I wrote a large part of it on four hours of sleep while my own emotions were a jumbles mess. Exams are still just killing me and I had to make a lot of decisions the last few days, and the next months are gonna be even more stressfull because of that.  
> BUT ANYWAY I hope you still somewhat liked this chapter and that it wasn't too disappointing. Now you finally got Younghyun's side of the story, yay!! orz
> 
> (Also: Day6 Gravity album and world tour??? Do these boys even sleep or rest at all???? But I will definitely start saving up now so I can see them live (maybe I'll meet a few of you there as well?))  
> ((On another side note: I started watching 'Stranger Things' and I kinda really want to write a jaepil Stranger Things AU but I already have too many fics going on orz))
> 
> For story and art updates you can follow me on twitter @CountvonZahl or on tumblr @k-dayun, you can also just message me!!! I'm always happy and so thankful to hear from you guys!!!


	5. I like you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know which song to listen to while reading this.

 

Wonpil sits huddled up on his bed, squeezing the pillow in his arms closer to his chest as he thinks about the last night. He had tried not to think about it, had pushed and suppressed the matter away. But now he can’t really ignore it anymore.

So Younghyun makes that kind of face when they’re having sex.

The elder’s face comes back to Wonpil’s mind and he bites his lips. Younghyun’s eyes had been so blank and vacant when Wonpil had looked at him, held close in his arms and on the brink of pleasure. The sight had been startling.

Sparing a glance towards his phone on the nightstand, Wonpil takes it to go through the chat-history between them. He bites his bottom-lip anxiously when he reads yesterday’s messages. He had texted Younghyun in the middle of his study session, so maybe the taller had been annoyed about that? Wonpil would understand.

But in that moment yesterday when he felt like the lowest in his life, like he couldn’t accomplish anything, Younghyun had been the only one that came to his mind who he wanted to see – who he didn’t mind seeing him like this, whose help he wanted. And Younghyun came, just for him. Even then he had taken such care of Wonpil, had tucked him in and even held him close in his arms until he fell asleep.

A small smile works its way onto his lips as he remembers the feeling of Younghyun’s arms around him, and warmth starts to gather in his chest. He really does like Younghyun so much.

Wonpil is sure that he’s in love.

And he’s sure that he has to let go.

He’s been happy, so extremely happy, it feels so different from high school. Back then he had been miserable, had thought that this love of his was wrong. He had just wanted everything to be over, for his feelings to change and for the people around him to disappear, for them to stop mocking him. He had spent pretty much every day like that – sparing secret glances at Younghyun and hating himself until the bullying of his classmates became too much and he changed schools.

But now it’s so different, now he doesn’t want this warmth in his heart to stop. Now he hopes that this time spent with Younghyun would go on as long as possible. Everything they did together was precious to him, he holds every day with Younghyun dear, so that these treasured memories will remain for him even when it’s over.

 

* * *

 

The sun is shining brightly, giving the windy autumn day a pleasant temperature. Wonpil closes his eyes as he feels the light breeze go through the locks of his hair. When he slowly blinks them open again, he spots someone standing not far from him. The person stands out like a sore thumb with his tall height and light blue coloured hair. He’s wearing ripped jeans that accentuate his longs legs and has a guitar slung over his shoulder. Wonpil wishes he had the confidence to style himself like that person.

Said person looks around himself and Wonpil notes that he looks rather lost. Always quick to help others, Wonpil steps towards him and taps his shoulder to get the other’s attention. The tall male quickly turns and takes a few looks around for who tapped him until he finally looks down and spots Wonpil. Wonpil doesn’t know if he should be amused or should feel offended.

“Hey, do you perhaps need some help? I couldn’t help but notice that you look a bit lost.” Wonpil tells the other with a polite smile on his lips.

It seems like the taller needs a few seconds to take in his words as he just blinks at Wonpil. When he seems to understand what Wonpil had said, a relieved smile immediately breaks out on his face and he rights the strap of his guitar bag as he turns fully towards Wonpil.

“Oh god, thank you, I’ve been so lost the past few minutes,” the taller answers him, stuttering a bit over his words. “I’m new here and still have a few problems reading the directions in Korean here.” He continues to tell Wonpil, and Wonpil only then notices the crumpled campus map in his hands.

“It’s no problem, I’m Wonpil by the way!” He tells the other happily.

“Oh, I’m Jaehyung, but you can just call me Jae,” Jae informs Wonpil, returning his smile.

“So, what place were you looking for, Jae?” Wonpil asks the taller as he puts the map away again now that he has someone who is willing to help him out.

“I was supposed to meet a friend later in front of the library by the performing arts faculty, but now I’m not even sure I’m at the right university!” Jae says as he throws up his arms dramatically and Wonpil giggles at his antics.

“I can show you to the library, if you want. I was actually on my way to that building as well!” Wonpil tells Jae, eyes curved in amusement. In turn the elder gives him an easy and grateful smile in response.

“Thanks Wonpil, you’re a real life-saver.”

So they make their way towards the performing arts faculty, Wonpil guiding the way as they weave through the throng of students.

“If you don’t mind me asking, but you mentioned that you still have problems with your Korean. Can I ask where you come from?” He asks as he looks up at the taller shyly, yet unable to hide his curiosity, it’s his first time talking to a foreigner after all.

Jae doesn’t seem to be bothered at all by the question, actually looks rather pleased to have a topic he can easily talk about. “Don’t worry, I’m originally from LA, but I went to high school in Toronto,” he informs Wonpil with an easy smile.

“Whoa, really? LA, that’s so cool!” The smaller exclaims in slight disbelief before he realizes something. “Hey, I also know someone who went to high school in Toronto for a year!”

During their talk they have reached the library by the Performing Arts building and are now standing in front of its entrance, just happily talking to each other.

“Oh, maybe I can talk to him some time, it’s always nice to make new acquaintances,” Jae says as he rights the strap of his guitar bag. “And who knows, maybe we even went to the same high school.”

“That would be such a big coincidence!” Wonpil exclaims happily with a grin, unable to hide his excitement, and Jae can’t suppress his own smile at the sight.

Holding himself back from ruffling the younger’s hair, Jae instead asks another question. “So what’s his name? Maybe I recognize it.”

“His name is Younghyun,” Wonpil answers before he halts. Sparing a glance up at the other, Wonpil contemplates if he should tell Jae about the nature of his and Younghyun’s relationship. Surely it would be strange to provide that information to someone he’s just met, but then again people in the west were generally more open, right? Wonpil bites his lip as he looks at Jae before he decides to just go with it.

“Actually, Younghyun is my boyfr-“

“Wonpil-ah?”

A familiar voice interrupts him and Wonpil turns around in surprise to see the person he was just talking about walk towards them. Younghyun is dressed as smartly as usual and Wonpil feels his heart flutter when the elder directs a small smile towards him. He knows Younghyun has his only free period of the day now which he normally uses to take a nap, so Wonpil’s a bit surprised to see him here.

“Brian?” Another voice interrupts Wonpil’s thoughts, and he has almost forgotten that Jae is still behind him. Wonpil is about to turn around and introduce the two in excitement that they could meet each other so quickly. That is until he realizes what Jae has just called his boyfriend by and he notices Younghyun’s smile freeze.

“Jae?!” Younghyun asks, surprise written on his face.

In turn Jae lets out a startled laugh. “What are you so shocked about? Did you already forget that we planned to meet up here?” Jae asks with a bright grin on his face. “Now come here, you loser. I haven’t seen you for a year!”

Right after saying that Jae engulfs Younghyun in a loose yet still tight hug, which Younghyun quickly returns with a grin once he broke out of his stupor, though he still looks a bit confused. Wonpil takes a step back as he watches the two hug in front of him, feeling rather lost.

“I totally got lost here, dude,” Jae informs Younghyun once he pulls away to take a good look at the other.

“I’m not surprised actually,” Younghyun quips back with a grin, keeping one hand on the taller’s shoulder to squeeze it. “You should have texted me man, I would have come pick you up.”

Wonpil watches them from the side, still feeling confused and a bit left out as they start to converse in English. Younghyun has a glimmer in his eyes as he smiles easily at Jae, and Wonpil feels something in his heart clench. There is a certain kind of familiarity between them that makes him wonder how they know each other, what kind of relationship they have and why Younghyun hasn’t ever mentioned Jae to Wonpil.

Grabbing his arm tightly, Wonpil is reminded that Younghyun doesn’t have any obligation to tell him anything, after all their relation is barely running on a time limit based on the elder’s pity. And here he had been, planning to tell Younghyun’s close friend that they’re dating when the other probably doesn’t want this matter to be revealed to anyone important to him. What had he been thinking? Getting distracted by an open smile and being easily lured by the thought of acceptance.

Jae waves Younghyun off. “No need man, I had someone else help me.” And then as if reading the smaller’s thoughts, Jae suddenly turns to Wonpil who blinks up in surprise at the other’s sudden attention.

In turn Younghyun’s own confusion finally fully clears as he turns back to the tallest between them. “Oh, Wonpil took you here?”

“You two know each other already?” Jae asks back in Korean, now taking his turn to be surprised before his expression clears with realization as he snaps his fingers. “Ah, you are the friend from Toronto we just talked about!”

“You talked about me?” Younghyun turns his gaze back towards Wonpil who bites his lip under his attention, looking cute like always to the elder.

“He just mentioned that he has a friend who also studied in Canada,” Jae explains to him, answering for Wonpil. “No need to worry man, we didn’t gossip behind your back,” Jae jokes with a small grin.

Younghyun frowns, something about the words not sitting right with him. “Just… a friend?”

Inwardly Younghyun knows that he’s overreacting, feeling insecure over nothing. After all the Korean society is still rather conservative and he shouldn’t be disappointed that Wonpil didn’t reveal the nature of their relationship to someone who is practically a stranger to him.

On the other hand Wonpil is watching the taller’s frown with trepidation. Younghyun was probably worried that Wonpil told Jae that they’re dating, even though he wants to keep that fact secret from his friends since it’s only temporary. Wonpil grips his elbow tightly, somehow feeling ashamed.

Between the two Jae eyes them suspiciously as he becomes aware of the tension building in the air. Something is going on that he’s being left out on and there’s also something about Wonpil that feels like Jae should recognize him. He tries to rack his brain if Brian had ever mentioned the smaller to him before but can’t seem to come up with anything. Inwardly shrugging his shoulders, Jae decides to defuse the tension between the two and turns towards Wonpil.

“Hey Wonpil”

The smaller turns to him with wide eyes and before he can say anything, Jae holds out his phone for the younger to take. “Let’s exchange numbers.”

Jae winks playfully at the younger and suppresses the urge to ruffle his hair again when Wonpil nods eagerly at him, a bit of tension draining from his body.

Next to him Younghyun stiffens a bit when he sees Jae’s trademark wink, frown deepening at Wonpil’s gleeful reaction. He wonders when those two suddenly got so close. It took him weeks to even get Wonpil to look at him again.

Wonpil happily types in his number into Jae’s phone before handing it back to the elder with a bright smile, momentarily shoving his worries aside. In turn the elder stills when he looks at the other beaming up at him with crossed eyes, something about the sight incredibly familiar to him.

Much to both Wonpil’s and Younghyun’s surprise, Jae grasps the outstretched wrist and pulls the smaller a bit closer, additionally leaning in to take a better look at Wonpil with squinted eyes while the younger flusters.

“Your eyes… Have we met each oth-“

Before Jae can finish his question though, Wonpil is suddenly ripped out of his grasp and he looks up in surprise to see Younghyun pulling the smaller close while directing a glare at Jae.

“If you’ll excuse us, Wonpil and I have something to do.” Younghyun grits out between clenched teeth and then he’s already turning around, pulling a confused Wonpil with him.

“Yah, Brian! We meet again and this is how you treat me!?” Jae calls after the other in disbelief. Wasn’t Brian the one who wanted to meet up in the first place!?

He gapes as he watches the two vanish in the crowd of students. Brian had never glared at him like that. Jae wonders what suddenly got into the younger. It looked almost like Brian had been jealou-

Then Jae finally remembers where he had seen Wonpil once already.

_Oh._

With a huff, Jae crosses his arms but smiles lightly nonetheless as he wishes his best friend all the luck.

_Brian, you slick bastard._

 

* * *

 

Wonpil throws a confused glance over his shoulder at Jae’s retreating figure as he is being pulled along by Younghyun.

“Hyung, is it okay to just leave Jae-hyung like that?” He asks Younghyun with slight worry. But in turn the grip on his wrist only tightens as Younghyun keeps looking forward with quick steps. Wonpil hurries along as best as he can, biting his lower lip as he worries if he had somehow angered the taller. He just hopes that Younghyun won’t hate him more than he already must now.

The door slams shut loudly behind them as Younghyun drags him into the choir-room, still avoiding eye contact.

“H-hyung, don’t you want to hang out with Jae-hyung?” Wonpil asks hesitantly.

Younghyun grits his teeth at the mention of his friend’s name, jealousy burning in his chest as he is reminded of Wonpil’s happy flush when talking to the other, while now he’s looking up so nervously at him. It’s obvious like this that Wonpil isn’t attracted to him, that he’s just humouring him. Younghyun wants to be kind, but it feels like his feelings are being pulled taught until they’re about to snap.

“I-I’m sorry, hyung, if it’s what I said to Jae-“

“I don’t need your pity!” Patience running thin, Younghyun wrenches his hand away forcefully from the younger as he turns to him.

The shock and the force behind it must have been too much though as Wonpil stumbles back, and Younghyun can only watch with wide eyes as the smaller slips. Heart stopping for one horrible second, Wonpil’s head comes dangerously close to the wall and Younghyun moves forward, trying to snatch Wonpil’s still outstretched hand.

They both crash to the ground, Wonpil’s head cradled close to his chest as they lie on their sides. Wonpil trembles lightly in his hold from shock and Younghyun quickly scans him to see if he hit his head. When he doesn’t see any wounds, he buries his nose in Wonpil’s hair in relief.

“That was close, Wonpil-ah…” Younghyun sighs into Wonpil’s soft locks with his eyes closed, holding him tight.

“Y-Younghyunie-hyung,” Wonpil whispers, clutching the elder’s shirt tightly.

A sting goes through his wrist though at the motion and he winces. Immediately Younghyun pulls back, sitting up. “What’s wrong? Did you hurt yourself? I’m sorry!” The taller asks in a rush as Wonpil sits up as well.

“No, I was the one who slipped, it’s okay hyung!” Wonpil tries to reassure Younghyun but winces again when he moves his hand. Frowning slightly, Younghyun gently takes his hand to examine his wrist.

He carefully turns Wonpil’s hand and immediately small pain shoots up his arm. Wonpil bites his lips as Younghyun’s frown deepens. “You might have pulled something when we fell…” Younghyun concludes as he holds Wonpil’s wrist as gently as he can.

At those words Wonpil looks up at the elder with wide eyes before he lowers his head again. “Oh no, I still have to finish the composition. How will I do that now…” Wonpil bites his lips as tears start to gather in his eyes caused by the pain and frustration. How embarrassing, to cry in front of Younghyun like this when the taller had been angry at him not even a second ago.

Younghyun watches with wide eyes as Wonpil tries to bite back tears, cradling his small wrist close. His heart feels heavy in his chest as trepidation seeps into his blood. He has managed to hurt Wonpil again, just like before. It’s over now.

What is the use of this farce when all he manages to do is make the younger suffer anyway?

He lifts his hand, wants to brush those crystal droplets away from Wonpil’s soft cheeks.

“Wonpil-ah,”

Reluctantly, he clenches his hand into a fist and pulls it back, closes his eyes tightly.

“Let’s break up.”

Wonpil’s eyes fly wide open when Younghyun utters those words. He looks up at the elder in shock, but Younghyun has his head tilted down, eyes closed in resignation.

It’s over, just like that. Wonpil’s lower lip starts to tremble before he bites it tightly, more tears joining the ones already in his eyes until they drip down his cheeks. Even though he had been prepared for this, it still hurts. It hurts so much. But he had already decided that when Younghyun finally breaks up with him, that he would accept so happily as he will always treasure their shared memories.

Just, he had hoped against all hope that this moment would not come so soon.

“O-okay…”

In turn Younghyun smiles faintly, clenching his fists at the unbearable pain that stabs through his heart. He glances up to see Wonpil smiling at him so brightly, his crystalline tears shining like glitter on his lashes as his eyes shine like the sun. Younghyun’s heart hurts so much, he wants to rip it out of his chest to make it stop.

“I just want you to know,” Wonpil sniffles lightly as he smiles softly, so softly up at Younghyun, “That my love for you will always be genuine.”

Younghyun stills.

What?

Not noticing the other’s shock, Wonpil continues as he tries to smile through his tears. “I know that you only dated me because you felt bad because of our past, but I’m still so grateful.”

Then if even possible, Wonpil’s smile becomes even brighter, his eyes curving and glittering like the stars in Younghyun’s dreams.

“Because of Younghyun, I feel like I have become a better person, like I can be proud of myself again. I’m really grateful, so please, don’t feel sorry for me, don’t feel bad anymore!”

Still in disbelief, Younghyun’s heart stops at what he just heard before it starts beating again, dancing and going wild like roses were exploding in his chest.

“W-Wonpil-ah, you love me?” It’s Younghyun’s turn to stutter as he asks, cradling the younger’s hand close and leaning in as his eyes widen and start to shine again.

“O-of course I do!” Wonpil squeaks, cheeks flushing at the close proximity and gleam in Younghyun’s eyes. “You must have known!”

Memories of their school years, of secret smiles shared between them after class and whispers under the setting sun flash before his eyes - of a boy in a uniform, nose sharp and eyes sharper, smiling at him from the other side of the desk.

“Since the very beginning of high school, I’ve always been in love with you,” Wonpil confesses softly, the sweet truth shared in a breath between them.

“Isn’t that why you went out with me, out of pity?” It’s less a question and more of an accusation as Wonpil hiccups. But Younghyun shakes his head vehemently as he pulls him closer, careful of his hurt wrist.

“I love you! I’ve always loved you!” Younghyun confesses, fire burning in his eyes as his heart beats rapidly. Wonpil blinks up at him in surprise, something starting to grow in his chest again at the words he’s longed to hear so much.

“So you were serious back then?” Wonpil asks in disbelief as he is reminded of when Younghyun asked him out.

“Of course I was!” The taller quickly answers him. “Acting like our past never happened and pretending that I forgot, it was all my cowardly way out of having to face your hate.” Younghyun admits with cheeks flushed in shame. “I never dated you out of pity, my feelings for you have always been genuine. I thought you were the one who dated me out of pity!”

“What? No! I dated you because I love you!” Wonpil quickly retaliates as he leans in as well.

They stare at each other in silence for a while, both taking in the truths that have been revealed between them. Then Younghyun chuckles silently, and when he looks back at Wonpil, there is relief and pure happiness shining in his curved eyes.

“There seem to be a lot of misunderstandings between us,” he says softly, to which Wonpil can only nod along. Gripping Wonpil’s delicate hands, Younghyun faces him with a determined expression. “I don’t want to break up, Wonpil, so let’s talk it out!”

Wonpil can feel the buds in his heart take bloom as flowers start to grow in his chest. They entangle between his rips and grow into his lungs until he feels like he can’t breathe anymore without coughing up petals in his love.

 

They grip each other’s hand tightly as they sit facing each other on Younghyun’s bed. Luckily Wonpil’s wrist stopped hurting a while ago after some cooling, it seems like he must have only bumped his hand badly.

Younghyun drags a hand down his face as he sighs in exasperation at their own stupidity. “So you wrote that text message about breaking up because of that?” The taller asks with a small and crooked smile and Wonpil nods in return.

Younghyun moves their hands until their fingers slot together between each other perfectly, and he squeezes Wonpil’s hand reassuringly. “I’m sorry you had to listen to that phone call with Jaebum, I’ll make him apologize to you personally.”

In turn Wonpil squeezes the elder’s hand back as he smiles at him. “It’s okay, hyung. It was just unfortunate that it all happened at once.”

A small silence stretches between them as Younghyun just smiles at the younger softly, before he pulls him closer into his arms. Wonpil goes willingly as Younghyun’s warm arms wind around him and he lays his head into the crook of his neck, nuzzling Younghyun’s throat with his nose.

“We should have just talked it out sooner, there was no need for both of us to worry the whole time,” Younghyun chuckles lightly, relief flooding his soothing voice as he buries his nose in Wonpil’s soft locks. A small smile works its way onto Wonpil’s lips at that.

“I’m sorry for what I did back then,” Younghyun whispers, but Wonpil just kisses his cheek softly at that.

It’s almost overwhelming, the fact that Younghyun has been in love with him just as long as Wonpil has loved him in return – that he did what he did because he tried to suppress his feelings out of fear. But the fact that it all was true, that everything Younghyun and him have done together in this relationship wasn’t a lie fills Wonpil with unbridled happiness.

This time they can face each other without fears.

Wonpil tilts his head up to look at Younghyun, smiling softly when he sees Younghyun already looking back at him. In turn Younghyun also smiles down gently at him before he leans in to kiss Wonpil softly.

Their lips touch and Wonpil sighs into the familiar spark, leaning up further for better access. Younghyun’s arms tighten around his waist as he pulls the younger closer and Wonpil turns fully to face Younghyun.  Deepening their kiss, Younghyun licks along the smaller’s bottom-lip until Wonpil parts his mouth for Younghyun. The elder immediately pushes his tongue into the younger’s sweet cavern, tasting the familiar yet still addicting taste of Wonpil. Like this, he thinks, he could spent his whole day just exploring the smaller like this.

When Wonpil pulls back for air, there’s a small string of saliva still connecting them, and he suppresses a flush at the sight of Younghyun’s kiss-swollen lips.

“Y-Younghyun,” Wonpil musters up the courage to voice out, “This time I want to see you, I want to face you.”

Younghyun looks at the smaller in his arms, one hand coming up to caress his cheek gently, and he feels so full of love. “Yes, of course,” he breathes out, breath taken by the radiant smile Wonpil gifts him.

Then they make sure to properly look at each other as they undress each other. Wonpil feels his heart lurch when Younghyun pulls his shirt above his head, revealing his wide shoulders and strong chest to the younger’s eyes. A flush works its way up his cheeks when Younghyun slowly caresses a hand up Wonpil’s side in return, revelling in the familiar yet also new feeling of the rosy skin beneath his fingers. Then carefully, he leans in and pecks Wonpil’s cheek softly before he starts to trail small kisses down his throat.

“Younghyun,” Wonpil hiccups, leaning his head against the other’s as his hands continue to run up and down his sides.

They explore each other’s body throughoutly, relishing every skin on skin contact and holding everything they see close. Younghyun’s fingers carefully pumping in and out of the younger as they kiss, hands never quite parting and always holding tight, hearts touching as they become one.

Wonpil’s eyes are half lidded as tears glitter on his lashes, a small flush on his cheeks and shoulders as Younghyun bottoms out inside of him. “H-hyung,” he hiccups, voice small but full of love.

Younghyun can only watch mesmerized at how the tears in Wonpil’s lashes glitter and shine like stardust until he kisses them away gently. He intertwines their hands on the pillow beside Wonpil’s head before he slowly and carefully starts thrusting in and out of the younger.

Small whimpers and mewls fall from Wonpil’s rosy lips like a prayer and Younghyun tries to catch them with his lips like a starved man in worship.

“Wonpil-ah, make sure you see,” he groans out between thrusts as the smaller flutters his eyes open, “I’ll give you my all, I’ll give you all my love.”

With that he grips the smaller’s hip with one hand tightly as he starts pushing his member in deeper. In turn Wonpil gasps, squeezing Younghyun’s hand and holding on tight as Younghyun drives into him. It’s hot, so very hot, but even hotter than his insides, Younghyun’s gaze on him is almost burning as they hold eye contact. Like this, facing each other, they can see everything. It’s almost scary, but with each other, it’s alright.

Streams of sunlight shine through the curtains, casting beautiful shadows onto Younghyun’s skin. Younghyun looks so handsome and gentle and pretty all at once, it takes Wonpil’s breath away.

Their bodies move in sync as they work together to completion, never taking their eyes off each other. Wonpil tries to bury his face into the pillow beneath him after he came, but Younghyun doesn’t let him as he tilts the younger’s head back towards him. He sees how hard the smaller is blushing and his heart aches so, so, _so_ much at how incredibly fond he feels at the sight. With his veins flooded by love and hearts touching, Younghyun also comes, kissing Wonpil softly at the height of his pleasure.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

 

Kissing leisurely as they lie side by side, still naked after the act, they relish in the warmth of the other. That is until Younghyun’s phone suddenly starts vibrating with messages. The taller groans in annoyance as he reluctantly parts his lips from Wonpil’s while the younger just giggles.

Younghyun blindly reaches out for his phone as he bites Wonpil’s cheek playfully in retaliation. When his fingers finally grasp the device, he lifts it to see that Jae has texted him.

_From: Jae  
yo Kang Bri, I hope it worked out with your high school sweetheart_

Smiling lightly at his best friend’s support, Younghyun quickly types back. Curiously, Wonpil nuzzles into Younghyun’s neck as he looks up. “Who is that?” In turn Younghyun kisses the top of the smaller’s head softly. “It’s just Jae.”

 _To: Jae_  
_Hey man, thanks_  
_and I’m sorry about earlier, I’ll make it up to you_

 _From: Jae_  
_oh? I take it went well_  
_can’t believe you kept a photo of him all that time in your wallet_  
_hey maybe I should tell him as revenge_

_To: Jae  
Don’t you dare chicken little_

_From: Jae  
just for that I will_

As if on cue, Wonpil’s phone also vibrates with a new message and the younger immediately perks up at that. “Oh, who might that be?” He wonders curiously before he reaches out for his phone on the nightstand. Younghyun looks up from his own phone in horror as he turns towards the younger to stop him, only to see Wonpil already looking at his screen, his cheeks a bright pink.

_To: Jae  
you better hide well_

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Wonpil clutches Younghyun’s arm tightly as new and familiar faces turn to look at him curiously. In turn Younghyun kisses one of his temples softly much to the shock of some people around them.

“You know, you don’t have to do this,” the elder says softly as he looks at Wonpil.

But Wonpil only shakes his head in return, trying to tune out the gossip around them as he smiles up bravely at Younghyun. “We’ve been dating for two years, I want to meet your friends properly. It’s also time that I face my fears!”

At that Younghyun returns Wonpil’s smile, pride filling his chest. He barely holds back from devouring the younger’s lips when he’s saved by a familiar voice calling for them.

“Wonpil!”

They turn to see someone dressed immaculately walking towards them out of the crowd of people. “Jinyoungie?” Wonpil asks in wonder when the other reaches them. “What are you doing here?”

“I was about to ask you the same!” Jinyoung chuckles warmly as the two share a small hug. Then he turns knowing eyes towards Younghyun as he greets him as well. “But seeing as you’re Younghyun-hyung’s boyfriend, you’re probably at this class reunion because of him,” Jinyoung concludes, grinning at the blush that spreads on Wonpil’s cheeks.

“Oh, um, actually I was also in this class.” Wonpil informs his friend whose eyes widen in surprise. “But only for one year before I changed schools,” he quickly adds on.

“Oh?” Jinyoung’s eyes curve as his whiskers show in mischief. “So you two are high school sweethearts? I didn’t know!”

At that Wonpil and Younghyun glance at each other, a blush on both of their cheeks as they are reminded of everything that happened on the journey to their current happy and healthy relationship.

“Jinyoungie, you still haven’t told me why you’re here,” Wonpil tries to redirect the topic as he squeezes Younghyun’s hand who grins down at him playfully.

It seems to work as Jinyoung perks up. “Oh, I’m here because my boyfriend was in this class as well,” Jinyoung answers him, seemingly glowing as he starts to talk about his boyfriend. “I totally forgot that you haven’t met him yet.”

Then he perks up even more when he sees something behind the couple before he turns back to them. “There he is, wait I’ll just call him over. Jaebum-hyung!”

Both Wonpil and Younghyun stiffen at the name but Jinyoung doesn’t notice as he waves his boyfriend over. On cue Jaebum walks towards them, a fond smile on his lips as he looks at his boyfriend. Younghyun would almost say the other looks a bit love sick.

When he reaches them Jaebum doesn’t waste a second before he presses a kiss to Jinyoung’s lips that Younghyun personally finds a bit too long to be done in public, but who is he to judge. Jinyoung giggles as they part and there are hearts floating out of Jaebum’s eyes before he turns to greet Younghyun.

“Oh, hey Younghyun,” he says, satisfied smile not leaving his lips until his eyes reach Wonpil and he freezes. They then travel down their arms until they land on where Younghyun’s and Wonpil’s hands are entwined and his eyes widen even more.

“Y-you two are dating?” Jaebum asks with disbelief in his voice. In return Younghyun lifts their hands to kiss Wonpil’s knuckles softly as Wonpil bites his lips shyly. “For two years now,” Younghyun tells Jaebum proudly with a bright smile.

“Oh, congrats man,” Jaebum tells them, face still slack in shock.

“Hyung, Wonpil is the good friend I told you about, the one that plays piano really well!” Jinyoung chirps up happily beside the other, and if even possible Jaebum’s eyes go even wider.

He turns to his boyfriend who smiles up at him expectantly, opening and closing his mouth a few times as he seems unable to come up with words. Then he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he lets it out again, seemingly gathering himself.

Wonpil watches the other warily as he turns to them, clutching Younghyun’s hand who squeezes back in comfort. Finally Jaebum opens his eyes again to look at Wonpil with determination.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you in first year.”

Wonpil blinks up at Jaebum in surprise, not having expected the apology from him.

“I had many anger issues back then and I used you as an outlet for them, which is really not okay. I was a stupid teenager back then and that is no excuse, but I hope that you can still find it in your heart to accept my apology.” Jaebum tells him earnestly, bowing his head in respect as Wonpil looks at him with wide eyes.

Younghyun watches silently from the side as he puts his hand on the small of Wonpil’s back to ground him.

“I-I accept the apology, but I don’t know if I can totally forgive you,” Wonpil says in a small yet brave voice as he lets the other’s words sink in. They all did stupid things when they were younger and ridden with insecurities, and he’s impossibly grateful for the earnest apology.

Jaebum nods appraisingly at him, accepting Wonpil’s words with a small smile before he turns to Younghyun who gives a small nod to his old friend. They’re ripped out of the small bubble though when another voice interrupts them.

“Not so fast, Im Jaebum.”

They turn to Jinyoung who is looking at his boyfriend with a small smile that makes the mentioned man almost cower in fear.

“You mean that Wonpil is _that_ person from first year?” Jinyoung asks Jaebum, though it’s clear that he doesn’t need or want an answer from him. Younghyun almost feels bad for his old friend as he watches him wince at the tone of his boyfriend.

Jinyoung then turns towards Wonpil again, demeanour changing a whole 180° as his smile turns soft again. “I’m so sorry for what my stupid boyfriend did back then, Wonpillie. I don’t expect you to forgive him right now, but know that he has become a better person and that I will personally chastise him again for you.”

At the last words Jaebum’s eyes grow wide again before he’s being dragged away by a very angry looking Jinyoung. Wonpil and Younghyun can hear the older plead with the other not to break up with him and something about being sexiled from Jinyoung before they vanish out of sight. Then a sound that Younghyun has come to love deeply comes from his side and he turns to see Wonpil chuckling lightly.

He joins the younger as they share a laugh about what just happened, both a bit winded from the unexpected event. When they have both clamed down again, Wonpil beams up at the taller with his eyes crossed and the smile that Younghyun loves so, _so_ much on his lips.

“Hey, I think I saw Dowoon and Sungjin by the buffet,” Wonpil mentions the two only people he got along with back then from the class next to theirs. ”Want to say hi to them?”

Younghyun smiles down at his boyfriend, hearts practically floating in his eyes before he presses a small but soft kiss to Wonpil’s lips, ignoring the few gasps that come from around them.

“Lead the way.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was it. I know that this chapter was rather rushed and full of typos, but I hope it was still readable. I also hope that this end doesn't disappoint you all, and I'm sorry for the halfbaked smut. I wanted to write it longer but I lost the motivation.  
> There are a lot of half finished stories in my folders that I have lost the strenght to continue for, but lets hope I will get it back ha ha orz.  
> There has been a lot going on in my life, so I'm really sorry that I was silent for so long. On the bright side though, I'm finally moving and changing universities, so yay!  
> (I've also been thinking about getting a penpal (letters and all), if anyone of you is interested, please feel free to message me on twitter or tumblr)
> 
> Thank you guys for all your patience, support, comments and love!! Seriously, you guys help me through so much personal stuff, I don't know how to express my gratitude to you.
> 
> tumblr @k-dayun // twitter @CountvonZahl


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